Remissa Erroribus (Forgiven Mistakes)
by Little-Pen87
Summary: Due to a mix up, Severus made a horrific mistake during the summer, irrevocably changing his and Miss Granger's lives. She swore she would speak of it to no one. He is unconvinced that Granger will keep her silence as she starts her 6th year. She is becoming more erratic and he struggles to control her actions as he is also overworked and continuously stretched between two masters…
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **_buckle up; this is going to be a long journey._

Snape smirked at the faint shape under the duvet in the dark room, the fabric slowly moving with the pattern of slumbering breaths. He reached to slide a hand under the cover in search for her bare skin, tracing along the dip of her spine.

It had only been a few months since the young witch initiated their first embarrassing and awkward tryst, both knowing it was a mistake soon after; each avoiding the others eye as they straightened up from roughly coupling on his classroom desk. Snape thereafter repeatedly broke his own personal promise not to indulge again; but her forward and crude attitude always seemed to intrigue him.

Snape grabbed the witch's hair and pushed her face into the pillow, his erection grew hard as his hand massaged her thick curls. He had hated the dull crop that she had been sporting recently because of her temporary inability to morph. He was pleased to discover that her gift had returned, when he gripped her hair and felt it was different. Snape ran his free hand from her hip, testing to see if her shape was also different; he growled when he stroked down the side of her ribs to the swell of her hips, welcoming her new shape. Instinctively he pushed his groin into her round behind. The witch struggled when his finger entered her, he squeezed and pulled the soft curls tighter from her scalp, this new dainty and delicate body continued to wriggle under his weight as he pushed her into the bed.

Snape smirked when the witch's hand hit the glass when he thrusted hard into her tight body.

"Quit the hysterics, Nymphadora."

Snape could feel her wetness stretch as he slowly ground his cock inside, enjoying the tight tug, each time he pushed back inside. He bit her shoulder hard when he heard her moan, quickly pushing her head deeper into the pillow, not wanting to hear her annoying voice. The witch disobeyed and started thumping the bed with her fists and feet. Snape cast his restraining spell, biting her earlobe as he watched her thin wrists stretch and be tied by the black rope. Her new body made him ache seeing it splayed out. He pulled out fully to slam back inside her, their groins slapping each time his momentum continued.

Snape pulled the witch's head back and bit the soft skin between her shoulder and neck.

"I'm not Nympahora." Granger panted into his ear.

* * *

Hermione sat up reading in the bed that wasn't hers; the lumpy wires poking into her thighs didn't come close to her soft one back home.

Earlier this morning, when Hermione was still in her own bed, she was stirred awake by the sound of her Mum calling her. Hermione walked downstairs, rubbing her tired eyes, still successfully dodging Crooks, who hopped down the few steps in front of her.

"You have a letter!" Her mum cooed waving the wax sealed letter in the hallway. Hermione reached and took the addressed letter, giving her mum a confused look; they both knew she hadn't received any letters all summer apart from her standing order of the Daily and Evening Prophet.

"It's always so exciting when they come by owl!" Her mum told her, following Hermione into the kitchen.

"Whose is it from?" Her dad asked, reading at the dinner table.

"It's from Ron, and his parents are asking if I want to spend the last two weeks of summer at theirs. They said Harry would be there too."

"When were they thinking?" Her dad questioned, folding his newspaper.

"They said I could go today, if it's not too much trouble?" Hermione asked between bites.

"Ooooo does that mean Molly and Arthur are dropping by?" Her mum happily asked, looking out of the window, into the sky hoping to spot the Weasley's. She always enjoyed those interesting chats with Molly and found Arthur charmingly amusing, as he constantly questioned about their mundane household items.

"No, they said their eldest son, Bill and his fiancé… Fleur are coming" Hermione struggled to say Fleur's name in context with the Weasley's, even after reading the announcement in the back of the Prophet a few weeks back.

* * *

"I need to learn that trick. It would save me a small fortune when I have to pay for extra baggage after my two go duty free shopping." Hermione's dad elbowed Bill as he looked over his shoulder, his wife and daughter both excitedly talking about wedding plans with the attractive witch.

Bill had just charmed Hermione's suitcase and books to miniature before dropping them into his coat pocket. Only Crooks' travelling case remained in her parents' living room, his ginger paw trying to claw at the clasp.

Fleur gracefully thanked Hermione's parents for the many cups of tea and biscuits until Bill whispered quickly in his fiancés ear, eager to hurry them up. Her parents waved goodbye and watched their only daughter magically vanish with the friendly couple, a loud pop echoed as the three of them, plus the cat, disappeared.

* * *

Hermione nearly threw up when her feet landed on the stone floor; steadying her feet she blinked to make sure she wasn't seeing things. "Oh, I thought we were going-"

"- to the Burrow? Yes we are, soon, but I promised Mad Eye we'd come here first, something about your trace being tracked." Bill said.

Hermione nervously looked around the neglected kitchen at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, wishing she had asked Bill and Fleur some security questions before just agreeing to leave with the couple she was only acquainted with.

"It iz disgusting Bill," Fleur traced a line through the dusty worktop.

"There's an elf somewhere; maybe ask him to clean?" Bill turned to his fiancé and gently held her hand. Hermione smiled at their embrace, deciding quickly Death Eaters couldn't possibly be capable of looking into one another's eyes like the couple in front of her.

Fleur nodded, kissing her partner before opening some of the kitchen cupboards leaving Bill to start casting protective charms on each of the smeared windows.

"Non food!" Fleur pouted, after slamming the third cupboard.

"Why, how long are we planning to stay?" Hermione asked, not really wanting to stay, the house still held too many raw memories of Harry's late godfather.

"Moody said twenty-four hours should be enough to confuse them. You'll both be at the Burrow for breakfast tomorrow, I promise." Bill tapped Fleur's nose playfully.

"And don't worry about food; Mum's packed me up with enough stew for lunch and supper to last a month!"

Hermione was smiled at the cute couple until they were all interrupted by Crooks crying loudly from his case.

"Do you want a hand with your things, Hermione?" Bill asked without really making an effort to turn away from his fiancé.

"…Erm yes, thank you, I normally stay in the third room on the right, on the second floor." Hermione told him as she slowly backed out of the kitchen, feeling awkward when the couple lightly kissed. Hermione escaped to the living room, holding Crooks' case, being completely ignored by her overnight guardians.

* * *

Snuggled up with another interesting read from the bookcase behind her, Hermione sat with Crookshanks in a large worn armchair. Hermione had heard some shuffling from behind the curtains earlier and after Crooks went to investigate, revealed Kreacher. He was sneering and muttering insults at her, until Crooks chased him from the living room.

Hermione was somewhat aware of the other guests in the house. Fleur was now singing away to herself somewhere in the house. Hermione did not care what the other witch was doing, as long as she stopped bothering her with personal questions about Krum and their 'just friends' relationship status. Then there was Bill. He had disappeared upstairs soon after they had arrived, apologising to them both, insisting he would be down for dinner after he completed an urgent report.

* * *

"Ron's looking forward to seeing you, I would say more so than Harry is." Bill grinned, ripping some bread to soak into the rich stew. "Think my little brother might have a crush"

Hermione blushed, looking down into her bowl, hiding her smile.

"Don't Bill, you iz embarrassing her." Fleur spoke, elbowing him gently.

After a lengthy fascinating conversation about Bill's work Hermione later took the couples hints that she had overstayed her welcome when she noticed Fleur's arm stroking further up Bill's leg under the table.

Hermione hesitated to go back downstairs when she realised Bill must have placed her suitcase and books in the wrong room when she entered her usual but empty room. But, not wanting to ruin their new friendship by telling him nor ruin the couple's alone time so instead she decided she would locate her belongings and take them back to her preferred room.

Hermione searched every room until the very last one on the first floor. In that room, she found Crookshanks already sleeping on the bed surrounded by her luggage. She decided the room wasn't that different to the one on the second floor and chose to stay in this room, not to disturb Crookshanks.

* * *

Hermione's eyes began to droop after a couple of hours of reading on the uncomfortable bed. She could feel the wires poking of the bed poking in her back, and she felt jealous of Crooks who was sleeping comfortably on her lap. Hermione gave him an ear scrunch, and slowly woke him. She reached over to take a sip of water before blowing out the candle. It didn't take Crooks long before he was curled back up on her feet, both falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

Someone else was in the dark room; their breathing just audible under her thundering heart beats. Hermione opened her eyes but the room was black.

The bed creaked and dipped from the person's weight, Hermione looked round but her head was twisted back to lie face down into her pillow. She screamed into the pillow when fingers pushed her knickers to the side with one forcing itself inside her. The large hands didn't move as she violently wriggled her body; both her own hands strained to pull at the one hand in her knickers, but her curls were twisting at the roots as the other large hand pushed her deeper into the pillow, making her muffled screams nearly choke her from the closeness of the fabric.

Hermione waved her left hand out to the bedside table; reaching for anything. Her fingertips nudged her wand but her wrist was pulled back quickly before her head was pushed back down into the pillow. She screamed when she heard her wand roll onto the floor with a light thud. Again her left arm darted out; this time she touched her empty glass, just close enough for her clammy fingers to nudge.

Thin lipped kisses and wet bites sucked her neck, the intruder's hand that had been inside her was now pinching her right nipple. The glass smashed on the floor, hiding her loudest scream from the burn she felt from being raped.

"Quit the hysterics, Nymphadora."

Professor Snape. His trademark drawl echoed in Hermione's ear.

"I'm not-" Hermione's strangled plea, only a millimetre above her pillow was cut short as her head was once again pushed hard into the pillow, his fist gripping her curls.

Her wrists and ankles were pulled out. She strained to see the black rope that was wrapping around her right wrist, pulling both arms out towards the bedpost. The pace had picked up; inside she burnt from being stretched and opened. She felt like a puppet being tied from her wrists and ankles, he pulled her up by the hair to bite her neck, but he was unaware he had allowed her the chance to speak.

"I'm not Nympahora!" She shouted.

His thrusts stopped.

She felt him twitch inside before sudden discomfort as he pulled out.

The bed creaked as he moved away from her. Hermione quickly scrunched herself up, closing her eyes shut. Her bare legs were covered from the cold air, he must have pulled up the duvet which was now just over her shoulders; her hand trembled as she pulled the duvet higher to cover her head.

"Miss Granger?"

Hermione heard her professor deeply inhale and exhale, the floor creaking as he paced the room. "I'm… I w-will -" His authoritative deep tone sounded odd, as he stumbled to speak.

Hermione opened her eyes, she hadn't heard him move or talk for some time, and slowly she turned under her duvet and peaked through a gap to her left. Her tall professor was sitting on the floor, resting his head on his arms leaning on his sharp knees. She quickly moved back deeper under the duvet after sensing he knew she was watching.

"You _will not_ speak to anyone about this."

Hermione closed her eyes as soon as she heard him speak. Her stomach flipped when there was a quick tugging feeling inside her. She presumed that he had just cast a contraceptive charm over her; in seconds the uncomfortable feeling was gone.

"I will ruin your reputation if you _even_ hint to what has happened," his voice now thick with hate.

Hermione heard the floorboards creak again, he must have stood, the bedroom door open and closed. Hermione gasped for air and peaked under the duvet again, this time into an empty room. She held her breath after noticing his shadow still standing on the other side of the door. He stood for no longer than a minute before walking away.

Hermione rushed from the bed, moving her books and dragging to pull the high back chair under the door handle, testing to make sure the room was secure. Hermione stood back to stare at the barricaded door, and slowly walked backwards until her bare legs hit the bed. She bent down to pick up her misplaced wand, bursting into tears from seeing herself naked from the waist down.

* * *

Snape stood outside the bedroom; fighting with himself whether or not to walk back in and obliviate the girl. But, Albus' voice replayed in his memory, stating that the girl's vast knowledge was vital, and one slight slip with her mind would undoubtedly cause his thinly layered plan to crumple.

Snape covered his face with his hands, flinching when he smelt the girl's personal scent. Dropping his arms sharply he re-arranged his travelling cloak, clipped tightly under his collar. The black fabric trailed behind him down the stairs, through the hallway and out to the street. Snape took a quick glance to the house before he pivoted and apparated from the pavement.

* * *

Hermione held Fleur's hand and prepared herself for the magical pull before arriving outside The Burrow. Her jaw was aching from constantly smiling at Bill and Fleur who cheerfully spoke to her over breakfast, unable to speak for fear of bursting into tears, luckily her answers only required a simple nod or smile.

All night, through to the early hours, Hermione sat on the hard bed wrapped in her duvet, her wand aimed at the closed bedroom door. It wasn't until Crooks gently pawed at her hand to alert her it was time for food did Hermione collected the items needed from her case; clean clothes, toothbrush and soap before nervously running out of her bedroom to the nearest bathroom. Hermione caught her reflection in the mirror as she undressed; fortunately the cracked glass distorted her chance to catch her appearance.

"Mione!" The front door flew open with Ginny and, a much taller Ron, rushing towards her. Hermione backed away with panic, her odd reaction unnoticed as she was hugged tightly by both friends.

"Hello dear, come - come on in" stood Mrs Weasley, short and plump waving her in from the front door. "Put her down Ron!" Mrs Weasley shouted, causing Bill to wolf-whistle and messing up his little brother's hair.

"Harry will be here tomorrow night, late Mum reckons. Says Dumbledore's taking him on a secret task," Ron was speaking quickly, making sure he was ticking off the imaginary list he had accumulated, waiting all summer to update her "- but she won't say anything else, nor Dad, I think it's something to do with the 'Prophecy', you know everyone thinks Harry's 'The Chosen One', what d'you think?"

They were both sat outside in the afternoon sun behind the tool shed, Ron had walked Hermione outside to show off his new, but second-hand broom. He sensed something was wrong soon after, especially when she slid down the shed wall to sit cross legged. Asking if she was ok, and with no reply Ron then started again with his flurried reel of information.

"Hmmm?" Hermione smiled when she heard Harry's name. "What was that?"

"Do you think Harry's 'The Chosen One'?" Ron repeated, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one overheard.

Hermione blinked away her thoughts and shook her head.

"No, I hope not, he can't be…"

"Yeah, hopefully it's wrong." Ron pulled at some grass to rip it from the ground.

"D'you think he's coping okay?"

"Mmmm, maybe, even I'm still struggling to sleep, must be a hundred times worse for Harry." Hermione pulled her legs up to hug them and rest her chin on her jean covered knee.

"Yeah, I keep getting nightmares too, back with those gross brains and all the Death Eaters, plus -" Ron noticed Hermione shiver. "…anyway, how was your summer?" He quickly tried changing the subject.

Hermione straightened her back; her stomach flipped, scared she would throw up from Ron's innocent question. "…Erm, I'm going to see if Ginny wants any help," Hermione stood suddenly and walked off, leaving Ron confused by her hasty exit.

* * *

Hermione bit hard onto the towel and screamed. It was just after lunch and she was already crippled by another panic attack.

"Mione, you ok?"

Hermione ripped the towel from her mouth when she heard Ginny's concern.

"Yeah fine, I'll be down soon"

"Are you sure, thought I heard you shout?"

"No… nope, not me." Hermione lied, forcing her voice to sound chirpy.

"Ok, see you downstairs."

Hermione watched Ginny's shadow walk away from under the door, she suddenly jerked back when she caught her own reflection looking back from the mirror hanging on the back of the bathroom door. Hermione quickly looked away, grasped the door handle and left to follow Ginny.

* * *

"Arthur, now how can I make plans when you're never home on time?"

Mrs Weasley led Mr Weasley into the dining room. She had left the dinner table, muttering to herself for having to answer her own husband's knocks on his own front door.

"Molly, it's just a difficult time at the moment. I promise to make – Ah Hermione! What a nice surprise!" Mr Weasley's voice went up a notch when he spotted her sitting in between Ginny and Ron.

"Hello Mr Weasley."

Mrs Weasley watched and smiled politely as Hermione waved at her husband before turning to him, scowling and continuing their talk "- well I've made plans regardless. Remus is coming for dinner the Saturday after next, Harry's birthday, and you better be home at a reasonable time, Arthur."

Everyone started digging into their food. All day Hermione's appetite had abandoned her but the fuss and fear from Mrs Weasley questioning her missed three meals scared her more than the sick feeling in her stomach.

* * *

Crooks balanced on the bath's edge; he had been staring at his owner for a while now, first he sat curled up on the closed toilet seat before moving to the fluffy bath mat on the tiled floor but now he wanted attention and maybe even a treat.

Hermione jumped when Crooks shook his wet paw after he daringly dipped it to test the water, jerking her from mentally re-living last night again. Hermione quickly stood splashing cold water over the bath tub. She reached for her towel, the last she remembered the water was steaming hot. Crooks meowed and walked in between his owner's legs, both making wet foot prints to Ginny's room.

* * *

"You're with Dean now, what happened with Chris?" Hermione asked, trying to tackle a brush through her wet curls, she was sat on Ginny's bed, beside the red head who was flicking through a magazine.

"It wasn't working out so I finished it… anyway, Dean's been sending me really cute letters saying how much he can't wait till school starts, _to be with me_." Ginny rolled over onto her back and sighed from the thought of her new romance.

"Does Ron know?"

Ginny pouted at Hermione for ruining the mood.

"Yes, he read one of my letters only two days into the holidays, gave me a right mouthful about going through boys too quickly - " Ginny rolled back onto her stomach. "-all because he hasn't got any luck."

Hermione secretly agreed with Ron, the younger girl beside her did seem to be moving quickly with boys. Hermione wondered if Ginny would also lose her virginity by the end of term. _At least Ginny would have a say in it,_ Hermione thought bitterly.

* * *

Crooks woke with a start when his owner threw her duvet back. Hermione couldn't sleep and instead of listening to Ginny's irritating snores, she decided to get up and venture downstairs for a drink.

"I've tried Molly, I went to see him this morning but he said something's happened, saying he made a mistake and that he's still too dangerous." Tonks sulked leaning over her mug, her back to the kitchen door with Hermione stood in the doorway.

"Hermione, dear? Are you ok?" Mrs Weasley asked, turning in her seat with a soft smile, holding Tonks' hand in hers who was sat beside her.

"…Sorry I didn't mean to... I just wanted a drink?" Hermione nervously spoke. Mrs Weasley stood and beckoned her to follow over to the sink. Hermione moved around the kitchen as if Tonks was a wild lion, about to pounce at any given moment.

"Milk alright, dear?" Mrs Weasley asked. Hermione nodded, still keeping the corner of her eye trained on Tonks.

"Here we are" Hermione took the tall glass of milk that had just appeared with a pop. Mrs Weasley gently pressed Hermione's back, politely pushing her back to the kitchen door.

"Take it up to bed with you, dear." She ordered smiling at Hermione as she closed the door until it clicked shut.

Hermione didn't wait around, not wanting to overhear Tonks talking about Snape, she rushed upstairs to the bathroom instead of Ginny's bedroom. Another panic attack was creeping up, resulting in her crying into a towel for a quarter of an hour until she felt tired enough to try and attempt to sleep.

* * *

"Hermione wake up! Harry's here!"

Hermione didn't need be woken; she had been awake all through the night staring up at the ceiling. She turned over in the bed that Ginny had offered (the red head had slept in a sleeping bag on the floor).

Ginny was standing with her arm on her hip, fully dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, holding out a similar outfit for Hermione. After both girls were dressed and freshened up, they walked quickly to the twin's old room. Awkwardly they met Ron in the hall. The three of them hesitated on who should knock or open Harry's door but Ron and Ginny both moved at the same time, bursting into the bedroom.

Hermione made a promise to herself to try and push that horrific night away and focus on being brave for Harry. She soon felt selfish for worrying over the incident after Harry told them the truth of his 'Prophecy'. Harry was given only seconds to wake up before he was prompted to answer their questions; he confirmed their speculations over his bleak future as well as showing them he was coping after they skirted over the topic of Sirius.

The four of then rushed downstairs to the kitchen after Harry declared their OWLs should be arriving today.

"Owls - look three of them!" Hermione pushed Ginny out of the way to watch the three tiny specks come closer, flying towards the kitchen window.

Hermione didn't care about anything at that moment, apart from her results, forgetting all about that night, she actually felt normal for ten seconds reading her results.

"How did you do?" Ron asked mockingly.

"…Erm ok, I suppose." Hermione spoke quietly.

"Let's see... oh just ok! You have ten 'Outstandings' and one 'Exceeds Expectations!" Ron laughed looking over her shoulder.

Hermione wanted eleven 'Outstandings'; her Defense Against the Dark Arts result was the only subject causing the 'should be' perfect results to be imperfect. Her eyes kept glancing down to the subjects lower on her paper, as if looking at it was like looking at the Professor who taught it. The word 'Potions' now sounded forbidden in her mind. The crippling thought of attending her first N.E.W.T Potions class made the empty sick feeling in her stomach creep back in.

**Author's note: **_Reviews please! __Big thanks to my beta 'SearchingForThatBlueBox'_


	2. Chapter 2

The days passed quickly with 'two-a-side' Quidditch matches out in the Weasley's garden. Bruises covered Hermione's body as she failed every game, even though she was paired with Harry against Ginny and Ron.

Hermione was standing in a pair of shorts and a vest top trying to rub the bruise salve into her legs as ordered by Mrs Weasley. The same prescription every night before bed to which during this process Hermione sometimes caught herself in the mirror. Each time her eyes would linger on her reflection before snapping back to massage her legs and arms.

Tonight though was exactly one week since the night at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Hermione constantly checked her wrist watch every hour all day counting down and remembering what she happened to her every hour that day. After dinner Hermione found herself checking the time every ten then five minutes knowing the event was getting closer but all she could do was mourn the memory because she felt too scared to ask for help or voice what had happened. Still fearing Snape would twist it into something worse than it already was.

Hermione washed her hands and brushed her teeth all under Crooks' supervision who sat watching her from his perch on the closed toilet seat. Both Crooks and his owner walked down the hall back to their room. Hermione passed the jar of salve over to Ginny whose turn it was now to follow Mrs Weasley's orders.

* * *

Hermione was shocked when she woke up. She hadn't even realised she'd been asleep. All night she stared up at the ceiling tracing back each moment of the horrific memory with real time. She gasped for air after waking from a nightmare she was unable to remember, the dark bedroom only making her panic more. Her cold sweat covered every inch, drenching the duvet cover making it stick. Hermione quickly stepped out of the bed and tiptoed over Ginny, still sleeping away. Hermione quietly made her way into the hall and rushed straight to the bathroom.

Hermione couldn't stop crying in the shower. The hot water felt like a blanket around her. She still felt scared from the sudden blank nightmare and she couldn't help but breakdown. Her legs buckled, but she didn't make an attempt to hold herself up and instead her back slid slowly down the tiled wall with the stream of the water hitting down over her head.

After feeling the affects of the warm water fade, Hermione stepped out of the bath tub. Because of her earlier urgency to get to the bathroom she had forgotten to collect a towel from the airing cupboard, and now had nothing to cover herself.

Hermione caught her reflection in the mirror that was on the back of the door. The harsh scar she had avoided since it had marked her the night Sirius died stretched from her right ribcage down to her stomach. The violent bright red against her pale skin tone made her breath catch. She already felt ugly inside and this scar proved she really was on the outside.

Hermione's gaze moved from her torso to a tiny yellow bruise on her shoulder. It was unlike the blue and purple ones she was used to spotting on her knees and elbows. She had missed this tiny blemish during her bathroom rituals. It was an odd place, she thought, she didn't remember falling from her broom onto her shoulder. Hermione moved closer to the mirror for a better look. She angled herself to make the mark shine under the light.

"No no no no!" Hermione quickly muttered as she rubbed at the bruise but it was still there after another close inspection. The faint bite mark with a line of uneven teeth was exactly a week old.

Hermione quickly dressed in her pyjamas ignoring her wet body uncomfortably touching the fabric. Crooks waited for her outside Ginny's bedroom and rubbed up against her legs to find his owner soaking wet.

"Wha..!" Ginny shot up from the floor and covered her face from the light stinging her tired eyes.

"Sorry! I really need the salve - where did you put it?" Hermione asked throwing bits of Ginny's scattered clothes to check under for the jar.

"Mione! I _was_ sleeping you know."

Ginny curled back up into her sleeping bag ready to fall back asleep.

"It's on the top shelf," she murmured lazily pointing at the shelf above the bed.

Through Ginny's bits and bobs Hermione balanced and stood on the bed in search for the jar. She sat down quickly, slightly bouncing down on the bed after she found it.

Her fingers scrapped a large dollop, enough for one leg, and rubbed it over her shoulder. With the bruise having nearly faded naturally in the first place, it was no surprise it had vanished when Hermione stopped rubbing.

"Light," Ginny muttered.

Hermione smiled at her shoulder and then at Ginny now snuggled with her back to the bed.

Even though the horrific night had still happened at least now she didn't wear the marks to prove it. It was now just a painful memory - a degrading and shameful secret.

* * *

Snape clenched his fists from frustration. He was standing, glaring down into the silver mask of a new recruit.  
"I will say this once only to ensure the four days spent making this is not wasted due to your witlessness. _Now_... two doses for answers and three doses for guaranteed death," Snape watched the Death Eater nod.

"Answer then!" Snape snapped.

"I'm to give him two doses - not three unless I'm told to."

Snape begrudgingly handed the small vial of Veritaserum into the others gloved hand.

The door swung open after the younger Death Eater knocked.

Snape caught a glimpse of the dark windowless room; and the frail aged wizard sat tied to a chair. Even with the canvas bag over his head Snape was aware his potion was going to be used on Garrick Ollivander.

Snape walked away before the door slammed shut. With no other business to attend to he made his way back to the ground floor of the manor to take his leave.

"Severus," Narcissa whispered.

Snape kept his stiff posture and didn't turn from the front doors; being caught addressing any of the Malfoys after the Dark Lord ordered against it would surely result in his higher ranking to be stripped.

"Severus - it's Draco."

Aware of Snape's reluctance to face her she kept her distance on the stairs and nervously looked in another direction.

"Have you spoken to him?" Narcissa asked tightening her grip on the banister.

Snape simply chose to ignore her question and stepped out of the house.

Her thin body dropped to the steps; she had risked her family once again trying to talk to Severus.

Only a week ago after they had left Spinner's Lane, Bella ran through their home to walk into the once perfect dining room where the Dark Lord had now taken office.

Narcissa felt his red piecing stare on her while Bella whispered into his ear to which Snape was summoned seconds later.

"Bella has informed me the three of you met this afternoon to discuss one of my decisions." The Dark Lord spoke slowly.

Snape took the offered and closest seat to his Master's right whilst Narcissa stood the furthest by the fireplace. Bella grinned at Snape behind the Dark Lord's chair, likening herself to a child hiding behind a teacher.

"- and that you both took a vow." The Dark Lord continued.

Snape's head nervously twitched to where Narcissa stood but didn't break the Dark Lord's connection that was failing to penetrate his mind.

"Fortunately for you Severus, this vow has placed you higher in trust - knowingly or unknowingly you have proved yourself." He raised a scaled hand to quieten Bella after she stomped her foot.

"However unlike Severus and Bella here, someone has not shown the commitment I thought they were once capable of." Voldemort smiled and looked over to where she stood, now beckoning her to come closer.

Snape heard Narcissa's light footsteps stop behind him.

He noticed Bellatrix fidgeting with her wand. She was unable to watch as her plan to tell on Snape backfired and now her sister was taking the blame instead.

"Who would have thought a mother's love could cause so many complications?" Voldemort mused to himself as she bowed low before him.

"Do you not believe in dear Draco, Narcissa?" Voldemort asked after she straightened up.

"If I had a son I would allow him to make his own mistakes," Voldemort slowly looked over to Snape, "in his early years at least," he continued, still watching Snape to his right.

"My Lord, I do trust Draco completely but I didn't want him to fail you my Lord."

Voldemort moved his head back sharply to the witch.

"The cause is most important to my family; I didn't want you to risk it all on Draco, my Lord."

"_Risk_?" He asked sharply.

Severus hid his wince at her mistake.

His tone signalled what was to come and from fear Narcissa leaned her left hand for support on the dining table.

Voldemort stood quickly and started pacing a circle around her.

Snape didn't turn to observe, and kept facing the once occupied chair.

"I do not _risk_ Narcissa. Severus and I have previously discussed the consequences _if_ your boy fails. This vow has served no purpose but to prove loyalty and enlighten the fact _you_ have no confidence in your only child." The sound of their master's bare feet stopped for silence to fill the room leaving Snape and Bella waiting for Narcissa's screams.

"Severus?" Voldemort asked.

"My Lord?" Snape quickly replied hiding his surprised reaction, aware of the unharmed witch behind him.

Voldemort walked back to his chair and sat. Bella looked up from her hands and raised her eyebrows silently questioning her sister behind her master's back.

"Young Draco hasn't attended a gathering since he was marked, am I correct Severus?"

"Yes my Lord. He has not."

Voldemort smiled, his red eyes moving from Snape's to Narcissa's.

"See to it he accompanies you tonight."

"Of course, my Lord."

Snape dipped his head and ignored Narsissa's shocked audible intake behind him.

* * *

"Is Tonks here?" Remus Lupin asked sniffing away in the hallway before he unclasped his travelling cloak.

"Or…is it Snape?"

Hermione froze on the stairs; she was trying to catch up with Harry and Ron running down the stairs. All rushing to greet Lupin but after hearing her professor's name she stopped.

"No, Tonks couldn't make it and like I would invite Snape." Harry answered smiling up at the drained and older looking Lupin.

"Ah, of course how I forget that genetic dislike. Anyway happy birthday Harry, and hello Ron, Hermione," Lupin patted Harry on the back and waved to the others before following the two boys into the rest of the house.

Hermione grabbed her jumper and held it up to her nose. _Do I smell like Snape? What does he even smell of?_ Suddenly the scent she had forgotten hit her; the thick heavy scent of the potion classroom mixed with the smell of cold air.

"Where did you go?" Ron asked when Hermione entered the dining room a couple of minutes later. She had ran back upstairs and sprayed herself with over three different perfumes causing Crooks and herself to go into a sneezing fit.

"Toilet," she answered sitting across from Harry and Lupin.

Bill and Fleur had managed to free themselves for Harry's birthday this evening, as did Mr Weasley who was currently being bossed about along with Ginny by Mrs Wesley in the kitchen.

* * *

"...and you're sure you're coping with the protective charms? I felt the wards down from the corn fields and the strength of them must be tiring you out Arthur," Lupin and Mr Weasley were talking in low voices after Mrs Weasley and Ginny left to prepare pudding, along with Fleur tagging along even after Mrs Weasley insisted she sit and rest.

"Yes perfectly well, we are just very efficient. Down to team work; myself casting them in the morning, Molly in the afternoon, then Bill and me start over again just before bed." Mr Weasley announced proudly winking at Harry and nodding at Bill.

"And you're sure you're able to keep up the increased protection every day? I don't want to state the obvious but Harry really needs all we can offer," Lupin asked sitting back slightly annoyed when Mr Weasley waved his hands for him to stop talking.

"Don't worry Harry, you're safe here," Arthur lowered his hands after he realised everyone around the table had seen him - including Harry.

"Sorry Arthur but I had to ask. Albus won't say a word when I ask; he just says _the Burrow is in good hands_. Are you sure you're coping? I really don't mind coming by if you need an evening off."

"Shhhss." Mr Weasley whispered whipping round in his seat to make sure his wife wasn't there. "Molly might hear!"

Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at each other, raising an eyebrow at how flustered Mr Weasley was acting. He slowly turned back round to the table and leaned in closer making them all move nearer.

"Albus is right but I wouldn't completely say we were in good hands - but then again there hasn't been any problems... _yet_."

Mr Weasley looked from Lupin, his gaze lingering on Harry before returning his attention back to Lupin.

"We've got someone helping us... and as you've noticed their magic is far stronger than mine. Every night they come - without fail... their protection lasting twenty four hours - I would bet more if we had too." Mr Weasley quickly looked round again just to make sure the kitchen door was still closed.

"Molly doesn't want to worry the kids," Mr Weasly tuned back and smiled at Ron, Hermione and Harry before speaking again to Lupin. "- but even she said she trusts Severus a tiny bit more since his potion saved my life, you know with the snake attack and all."

"What? It's Snape?!" Harry questioned loudly before Lupin lightly touched Harry's arm for him to be quiet.

"Harry, Snape is a member of the Order. I and the rest of us have all pledged to trust him," Lupin looked up from Harry after the boy nodded and started to gaze around the room. "_You know_ I thought I caught Snape's scent when I arrived but... I was sure he was in the house." Lupin muttered to himself sniffing again to his left and right.

Hermione held her breath when Lupin slowly looked up at her but he only smiled and turned back to Mr Weasley.

"Surprise!" Mrs Weasley's excited scream broke the tension, bursting through the door. All the lights in the room went out making the candles on Harry's cake shine brighter as she walked in followed by Fleur and Ginny singing behind.

* * *

Hermione stood at the bedroom window staring out into the black fields. She wasn't sure what to think about the professor outside every night for the past week. He must know she was here. Maybe he agreed to protect the Burrow only to keep a closer eye on her - _make sure she didn't tell anyone about their sordid secret, _she thought.

"Want to paint your nails?" Ginny called from the bed.

Hermione narrowed her eyes again just to be certain she didn't spot anyone outside. "Yeah ok, but I'll do yours first."

* * *

_Did Snape think the same? Am I just a worthless mudblood to be used and discarded? Was that why he's made no attempt to see if I'm coping? Does he not think I deserve his concern?_ Hermione was lying awake in bed thinking of the insults Draco had thrown at her earlier in Diagon Alley. Normally the name calling didn't bother her this much but then she hadn't been sexually abused before.

* * *

Snape cast the protection charm from the field to his far right over the Burrow; he chose a different position each night to prevent his wards from developing weak spots.

The bedroom light was on again. He wasn't sure who occupied the room but in his mind he decided it was Granger's. Snape preferred to imagine the girl reading and studying instead of crying over what he had done.

Snape allowed himself a moment to look up to the curtain closed window until the cold blunt voice in his head overpowered his conscience. _At least she isn't dead_ and _it's about time she had a wake up call from her perfect world._

* * *

The last few days before returning to Hogwarts would have been difficult with just the anxiety Hermione felt attending Potions but with Harry's 'Draco's-now-a-death-eater' obsession and Ginny's constant bickering over Fleur's wedding plans, it all made the remaining days more of a struggle.

She decided to concentrate on tackling her reading list and prepare for her N.E.W.T.S, only allowing herself to dwell on Snape during the night.

* * *

Snape paced the new classroom dressed in his long teaching cloak. The decor changes enhanced the room to his own teaching standards; the heavy curtains were the first adjustment, closing them shut to stop any daylight sneaking in with the flick of his hand.

Snape knew his teaching methods worked when his students felt most uncomfortable and nervous. The dark dungeons provided the perfect environment for adolescents to learn and now working on the second floor above ground he didn't want them to think anything had changed.

Minerva had paid him a visit earlier this morning clucking at the grim portraits displayed; pleased his vast collection over the years was now finally being observed.

Minerva informed him Albus hadn't been in the castle this past week but the rest of the faculty was or would be here by the end of today. And that only Horace would be arriving with the student's tomorrow evening.

Snape hid his reaction to learning the Headmaster wasn't resting at the school as he had advised him after halting the growing dark curse affecting the older man's hand.

Snape looked up to the upper part of the classroom to the spiralling stairs leading up to his spare office. He and Albus agreed he would continue to use his dungeon office for his Head of House duties and his personal lab to still brew the Dark Lord's potions and orders for St Mungo's - but this spare office, he had no plans as he would mainly mark papers from his desk in the classroom.

Snape heard the familiar footsteps outside approaching his classroom; he kept his back to the door when he heard the handle click.

Tonks poked her head round the heavy door. She had just finished her rounds in Hogsmeade and was about to change shifts, until she overheard that Snape was in the castle.

"Snape?"

He turned his head slightly to the right to acknowledge her.

"Snape - can I come in?"

"So you do have manners - many may believe you lack the basics," Snape spoke coldly. He hadn't seen the witch all summer and the anger he felt toward her not being at Number 12 Grimmauld Place was building up to the point that the witch would regret opening his door.

"Erm... was that a yes?" Tonks asked.

Snape didn't answer and walked towards his desk to hear her quickly follow him.

"We have little in common and no shared interests. I do wonder why you have made the effort to talk now after you were unable to make our last arrangement over a month ago." Snape turned to find the witch right under his nose and clumsily nearly step on his toes; he pushed her to take a step back and winced at her still short hair and dull ensemble.

"It was a full moon; I thought you would have remembered. You are aware I have to stand guard - just in case _you_ spike his potion." Tonks told him as bitterly as he spoke to her but she stepped closer again and started unbuttoning the lowest buttons on his frock jacket.

Snape slapped her hand away and turned to quickly sit at his desk.

He had regrettably forgotten her duties that night after speaking with Dumbledore; that was the night they had spoken of Potter's prophecy and his proclamation of his lasting commitment to Lily. After that draining night he wanted someone to use after the emptiness he felt from casting his patronus.

Tonks pouted and walked round his desk. Snape always made her feel playful even during these last weeks since Sirius.

"I can make it up to you…"

She purred and kneeled to run her hands up his inner thighs.

Snape gripped both her wrists and pulled her up closer to his face. Tonks smiled closing her eyes in hope for him to kiss her neck.

"Shall I thank the wolf for this willingness since he's most likely finally realised what a slut you really are?" Snape whispered and lightly bit her left ear lobe.

"I left him." Tonks replied, hurt by Snape's bluntness. She rocked back on her heels and pulled away from his grasp to stand. The break up was still raw and the no contact rule since Remus started spying within a werewolf pack only yesterday was making everything even harder.

"Once you're in a better mood…" Tonks raised an eyebrow back at Snape's.

"…I'm staying at Romolda's _if_ you want to see me." She continued.

"What room?" Snape asked after watching her walk to the end of the room in silence. He was close to dragging her back to his lap but the harsh action reminded him of the similar treatment he used on Granger - making the urge quickly fade.

"Room forty-eight," Tonks answered just before closing the door.

* * *

Hermione lead Ron through the train. They were both dressed in their prefect cloaks after just finishing their first patrol. They walked to the compartment they had left Harry in earlier to now find only Luna daydreaming out of a window.

"Where're you going? Lunch'll be here soon!" Ron urgently asked when Hermione didn't sit beside him.

"Toilet," she answered leaving him alone with Luna sitting across from him.

Hermione vomited into the toilet.

The sick feeling over the past few weeks never resulted in her actually throwing up, but maybe her nerves were reaching their breaking point. She ran the tap and patted her face, gulping down water to wash out her mouth.

Hermione stared at her reflection, her empty eyes framed from the sleepless nights, stared back. Her prefect badge caught the light, making her squint from the bright ray.

Not sure how she would feel seeing the Professor, but right now she was required to be a prefect and with that she smiled back at herself with the fake expression she had become accustomed to recently and confidently walked out of the toilet.

* * *

"I think you were better off with the old one - _the new one looks weak,_" Snape maliciously told Tonks.

Snape marched the injured Potter up to the castle leaving Tonks standing behind the large gates in the dark wondering how long his sour mood would last.

* * *

Silence swept over the hall as students and staff paused from the feast to witness the late comer.

Harry's nose was bleeding as he quickly made his way to their table while Professor Snape walked smugly behind.

Hermione's eyes didn't move from Snape even when Harry squeezed in beside her. She watched the professor take his seat at the top table, but instead of being crippled by fear Hermione struggled not to walk up and slap the smug smirk from across his face.

* * *

Snape could sense someone watching him; he glanced down the teachers table and caught Professor Trelawney who suddenly spat her drink after being caught. Not convinced the tipsy witch was the culprit Snape scanned the four long house tables below.

Draco was far too involved being fussed over by Miss Parkinson to pay his godfather any attention and when Snape searched for Potter he found the boy waving up at Hagrid five seats down from him.

_Granger._

It was the girl sitting next to Potter who narrowed her eyes when Snape stared back. Her non-blinking determined glare actually impressed him. Snape before envisioned the girl would be unable to breathe in the same room with him since the summer but it appeared the little lion had something to discuss.

Granger broke away first and Snape watched her join in conversation with Potter.

They continued to meet each other's eyes throughout dinner making Snape determined to corner the girl this very evening to ensure she keep her silence as she had - _so far._

* * *

_How dare he look back?! He's the one who should be ashamed._ Hermione planned to tell Snape exactly what she thought of his callous behaviour as soon as she had the chance. Unleash this sudden anger and voice her distress that had built up, unable to speak to anyone but him.

"What's happened to his hand?" Hermione heard Ron ask. She quickly looked away from Snape to Dumbledore who stood, about to make a speech.

"Potions!" Hermione heard her fellow housemates gasp after hearing Professor Slughorns's subject and Snape's new role.

Dumbledore paused and raised his injured hand to silence the hall's reaction to Snape's Dark Arts position before announcing the tighter security measures for this year and then asking for all prefects to stay behind to be updated with the new guidelines. This caused Ron to groan loudly.

Hermione and Ron stayed sitting, and together watched the rest of the students leave the hall apart from the other several prefects sitting at their own house tables.

Snape lingered with Professor McGonagall to double check the prefect timetable before handing it over to the head prefect; Hermione watched the professors leave through the side entrance and walked with Ron to the rest of the prefects all making their way to the head table.

"But that's going to take ages!" Ron moaned loudly after hearing the new rules.

"It's for your best interest; all prefects must be escorted back to their houses by a member of staff " The head prefect repeated stretching his collar nervously; he thought they would just nod along to the new changes - not protest before he had even finished. "Right, erm... here are the timetables based on your preferred times."

"Yes," Ron hissed happily after learning he was only patrolling once a week and just before dinner. He was partnered with a friendly 5th year Ravenclaw boy who waved back after reading his own timetable.

Hermione was partnered with Marcus Belby with three evening patrols a week. She spotted Marcus read his with knotted brows shaking his head, but when he looked up and searched for her he turned bright pink.

Hermione had asked for more patrols hoping to achieve the head prefect role next year and maybe Marcus wouldn't be that bad she thought - he did kind of remind her of Neville.

"Bye Mione," Ron patted her on the back leaving her to start the first patrol.

"Bye," Hermione replied trying to avoid Marcus nervously staring at her.

* * *

Their patrol was over after an hour. Marcus had calmed down after ten minutes to then start asking loads of questions, mainly asking about Harry.

They walked back after their uneventful patrol finished to the hall and signed out under the head prefect's approval.

"Take a seat near the door," The head prefect pointed down from the head table towards the great doors.

Hermione and Marcus chose to sit at the Hufflepuff table after they both bickered over wanting to sit at their own tables and instead of sitting at Marcus's Ravenclaw table or Gryffindor they went for the middle ground completely ignoring the Slytherin table.

"I hope it's not a ghost taking us back - they creep me out," Marcus muttered, staring at the closed doors.

"Ghosts aren't part of the teacher's board. It will most likely be Filch," Hermione replied. Then wishing she hadn't said anything when the door slammed open.

_Snape._

Snape took only one step in before halting and held the door open with his right hand after noticing the two prefects and nodding once at the head prefect.

"Out," he sharply ordered, to which Marcus jumped from his seat and rushed to pass Snape, who pressed his back to the door to allow Mr Belby to leave. Never once allowing the girl to leave his sight, Snape watched her slowly stand and walk towards him with her chin raised as she walked by him.

Snape had waited for the girl's patrol to finish; he had read her name on the timetable and informed Filch not to bother collecting the prefects as he would be passing to complete his own patrol anyway as ordered by the Headmaster.

Following Snape through the corridors Marcus kept trying to catch Hermione's eye. She was aware of the incorrect route they were following. They should have turned left towards Gryffindor Tower but instead they were taking the stairs in direction up towards Ravenclaw Tower meaning after Marcus was dropped off Hermione would have to retrace her steps - _alone with the Professor. _

As predicted only Hermione and Snape walked back down the flight of stairs. Instead of walking five feet behind him as she had with Marcus, she was further behind. Hermione now hurried to catch up with Snape. Trying to prove she wasn't intimidated by his flippant behaviour.

Snape smirked at the girl as she tried to keep up. Her attempt would soon tire her out but just to be sure he quickened his pace. He then turned, sharply satisfied after the girl stumbled when she realised the sudden change. He noticed her steps fall behind when she worked out where they were heading but she still entered his classroom as he held the door open for her to pass.

The classroom door clicked shut leaving both him and the girl standing in complete darkness until a selection of candles were lit.

Hermione's eyes still full of anger silently screamed she wasn't going to break under his unreadable stare. With her arms folded tightly over her chest she stood her ground as he started to walk slowly towards her. To her, he didn't register as her professor right now and instead she focused on what he had done and not the fact he had the power to punish her with detention or maybe even expel her.

Her increasing display of confidence during the walk down the hall and now in his classroom made Snape glad he had chosen to corner the girl tonight rather than allow this radiating tension to build and erupt tomorrow during a class full of observing students.

"Stop staring at me – and say something!" Hermione blurted frustrated from his cold stare. His silent treatment was causing her 'pissed off' confidence to crumple back to the anxious state she had felt all summer.

Hermione quickly turned her face to the left and stuck out her chin. Even if he didn't look away she didn't have to witness his empty expression.

"Why have you returned Miss Granger?" His baritone voice cut the silence following her desperate plea. Snape walked past the nervous girl and overheard her exhale loudly as he bypassed her to sit comfortably at his desk.

"What? Did you think I wouldn't?" Hermione's voice was now a notch higher because of her nerves.

"Clearly you didn't understand the question. I asked why - _not for you to question me_. Miss Granger – allow me to ask again; why have you returned to Hogwarts?" Snape asked dipping a quill, idly pretending to scribble a last minute note.

"I'm not scared of you - you know…and what you did was illegal - you're the one who should be answering questions - not me, _you disgusting_ -"

Her building rant was cut short as Snape raised his hand for her to be quiet; the familiar gesture used many times during class to pause her long answers.

He slowly placed his quill down and sat back in his chair.  
"You have returned simply because I have _allowed_ it you foolish girl - and if you decide to say anything remotely hinting to what has happened then I can assure you, you won't be confessing for long - _before your suddenly reported missing._"Hermione gulped and unfolded her arms during the latter part of his threat. Some sign of remorse was all she wanted right now but clearly he did not plan to show her the slightest sign of concern.

Hermione looked away from him down to her shoes. She twisted her hands trying to get back the anger she felt earlier.

After a few seconds Hermione snapped her head up and started quickly pacing in front of his desk. "You think I would tell anyone about _this_? I actually would rather go missing than face the embarrassment of anyone finding out about this. I'm ashamed by it - when really it's all you! - Azkaban is what you should get! …I can't even look in the mirror. _You're vile_. Why would anyone... - especially with you!"

She paused from her pacing and turned her back on him. A shrill nervous laugh escaped her then she turned on her heel to point back at him to scream. "_- You perverted ugly old man!_"

Snape didn't react; he continued to watch the girl's tantrum and her weakening struggle not to cry. He waited until the girl calmed herself to speak, "Thirty points for shouting and insulting a teacher," then observed her quickly return back to the recent hysterical state.

"_Are you serious?_ No, give them back - you have no right!" Hermione smacked her hands down on his desk and leaned aggressively towards him.  
Snape moved towards the girl and grabbed at both her wrists. She tried to step back when she realised her act of imitation had backfired. Snape yanked her forward to grip her elbows hard and pull her lower and press the side of his face to hers and spoke closely into her ear.  
"I have every right _you mindlessly blind girl_ - I am still your professor - even during a discussion as uncouth as this - and if you think for one second your little awakening to this harsh world is providing you with special treatment then think again - _our shamed little secret provides you no liberties!" _Snape roughly threw her arms back and stood. "Get out," he hissed at her and turned his back to her.

Hermione straightened her robe back over her shoulder after his abrupt hold on her body made it slip down. "_Also_ additional ten points for being out after curfew - and I suggest you leave quickly before further points are taken." She fought the urge to tell him she required an escort to walk her back but instead she kept quiet, not wanting to spend another moment in his cold company. She planned to run back to her house anyway to ignore her friends if any were still up and run herself a bath in hope to drown out the sound of her tears she felt rising now.

Snape heard the door open and close behind him. He didn't move apart from clenching and unclenching his fists repeatedly.

The girl had irritated him. Her insults identical to his own personal monologue and after hearing them out loud hit his final nerve. He really did feel like a seedy dirty old leech after using the young and, until very recently, innocent Miss Granger.

**Author's note: **_Just so you know, I like paragraph length as well as short and sweet reviews…_

_Listen to 'My Blood' by Ellie Goulding for when Hermione first sees Snape in the Great Hall and realises she's more angry than scared. I can just imagine her clenching her jaw and glaring up at him, ignoring Ron and Harry as her temper rises._

_Like the lyrics:_

_That feeling that doesn't go away just did_

_And I walked a thousand miles to prove it_

_And I'm caught in the crossfire of my own thoughts_

_The colour of my blood is all I see on the rock_

_Big thanks to my beta 'SearchingForThatBlueBox'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: **_this chapter hasn't been beta checked yet._

Hours spent alone in the bathroom comforted in the warm bath water laid Hermione. Her late night activity decided when entering her bedroom and being met by a thousand questions from her room mates; Lavender Brown and Parvarti Patil.

Hermione's mind; too unsettled from the recent interaction with Snape, found herself unable to even nod along with the girl's talk and questions who were already discussing each of their summer experiences. She complained about a headache bypassing their hugs to grab her wash bag from her still packed belongings. The other girls didn't show much concern as Hermione abruptly left the room. Soon hearing the other girls shortly continue to gossip and squeal from the other side of the door

Inside the safety of the locked bathroom, Hermione exhaled loudly standing still for a few seconds before rushing to undress. Dipping her body into the warm water felt like a velvet blanket draping over her skin. Already feeling a touch better she started to evaluate the evening. After years of being taught under Professor Snape's firm authority; Hermione couldn't believe only two hours ago she had stood in front of her professor and insulted him. But the hot confidence that pulsed through her earlier was now replaced by an anxious weight. Hermione dipped her head completely under the bath water and screamed. Crookshanks franticly scratched outside the door after hearing his owner but her housemates still oblivious let out another burst of girly laughter filling their dorm.

After her vocal release Hermione sat up staring blankly at the tiled wall choosing to glare at a particular pink sponge hanging on a tap. She narrowed her eyes towards it with her fists clenching under the water. Hermione imagined she was staring into Snape's black eyes. Telling herself repeatedly there was nothing he could actually do to hurt her. His threats were empty. She had the hold over him - not him over her. It would be his career and reputation ruined if she confessed. If this pit in her stomach became worse and her nerves couldn't cope then there was nothing he could do to stop her from talking.

But stood across from of him, the two of them alone again Hermione's intuition never doubted her professor's limits no matter how much she forced herself to believe otherwise.

Hermione suddenly burst into tears quickly bringing her knees up out of the water to bury her face to support her body's shaking tremors.

* * *

"Hoping for at least one a day," Ron exclaimed through a bowlful of porridge early the next morning.

"Yes, but you have to use your free periods for studying. Not spend them training or lazing about. Honestly, these are your N.E.W.T.S we're talking about," Hermione snapped at both Ron and Harry after listening to them ambitiously plan their timetable.

Ron rolled his eyes and nudged his head towards Hermione but looked mockingly at Harry.

Whilst both boys continued to plan their free time, Hermione stole another quick glance up to the top table. Her abuser. Professor Snape was still sipping from a mug with his black eyes trained on his Slytherin table. Hermione mused if Snape had slept better than her few broken hours of rest last night, unable to comfort herself to fall asleep. The sound of others sleeping drummed the fact she was still awake and missing a full night's rest. Lying in bed worried the lack of sleep might affect her concentration for the long day of lessons ahead and potentially including a lesson with Snape - if her Monday timetable stated it.

Since entering the Great Hall Hermione pretended to herself she was still angry. This forced emotion actually started helping to push down the sick nervous wave rolling in her stomach. Trying to imagine confronting Snape confidently in the middle aisle of tables and calling him up for exactly what he was. In this made up scenario everyone in the hall would gasp and stand by her side - _against him_. Leaving Snape lost for words; verbally crumple under the growing support behind her.

But now, physically in the bustling hall with ten times as many people than in her fantasy Hermione sat paranoid imagining everyone would instead laugh at her whilst thinking Snape would just stand and smirk down at her before cleverly twisting her confession.

Once everyone's breakfast had cleared away the four head of houses descended and started issuing the awaited N.E.W.T.S timetables.

Snapped out of her inner thoughts, Hermione was distracted by Professor McGonagall rushing down from the top table over to their Gryffindor table.  
Hermione sat patiently nervously glancing from Professor McGonagall approaching to glance over to the Slytherin table. To observe Professor Snape ordering his 7th years to stand and form a cue instead of fussing over them like Professor McGonagall and the other professors who were all working to each of their 7th years alphabetically.

About close to snatching her timetable when offered Hermione ran out of the hall for her first lesson of charms, rudely leaving Ron and Harry waiting for their timetables. The boys left after assuming her hasty exit was due to her usual eagerness to start the new curriculum not the constant urge pushing her to be away from her abuser. Professor Snape.

* * *

Hermione's parchment covered in notes proved she was involved in her charms lesson. But her mind kept returning to the mental image of her new timetable; already stored by memory. The block of lessons after lunch was potions followed by Defence Against the Dark Arts.

She quickly shot her hand in the air to answer a question. Her correct answer praised by Professor Flitwick but the usual glow she normally felt for being correct was overshadowed by the dire reminder that in just under three hours; she would be back occupying a room with Professor Snape.

* * *

Hermione washed her face in the prefect toilet. Annoyed with herself since this morning for developing a constant urge to use the toilet. The need becoming worse as the lessons and hours passed.

She re-clipped the sides of her hair neatly. Trying to keep the unruly curls tamed. Then Hermione gave herself one last look in the mirror before plastering a smile on her face ready to join Harry and Ron for lunch.

* * *

"But it doesn't say that!" Hermione hissed at Harry. His potion had just changed colour to pale pink as required at this stage but hers, and along with the rest of the class was still dark purple.

"Mine does," Harry shrugged his shoulders and continued stirring, his exact move repeated by Ron standing closely; hoping to win the brewing task too even though his potion was still frothing purple.

Hermione reached for Harry's text book and scowled at the upside down pages covered in someone else's scribbled annotations. Professor Slughorn then loudly announced the brewing practical had finished. Having to repeat himself twice just for Hermione's benefit who was still trying to salve her attempt.

The classroom of students stood hot and bothered as their professor walked the outline of desks assessing their potions. Hermione could feel all her classmates, apart from Harry and Ron glare at her, all assuming as usual the class swot would win the prize of Liquid Luck. Unsurprisingly Hermione's gained the only nod of approval until Harry standing next to her was awarded top marks and the prize of Liquid Luck. She, now along with the rest of the class sulked miserably watching Harry receive the prize and praise. The three of them left Potions. Hermione with thirty points under her belt for answering every one of Slughorn's question but begrudgingly she wanted Harry's pride probably more so than the rare potion.

Hermione slowed her steps behind Ron and Harry as they made their way closer to their next class. But still close enough to overhear Harry trying to modestly boast about his tainted potion book.

Planning not to be the first student outside Snape's new classroom; Hermione stood behind Ron and Harry as they joined the end of the line. Lavender and Parvarti were stood on the end and both girls broke their conversation to turn around and animatedly chat away to Ron and Harry - not really bothering with more than a quick hello for Hermione.

Grateful for her classmates brush off; Hermione was left to try and steady her breathing and not hyperventilate from the thought of Snape sharing her space again in less than five minutes. He hadn't attended lunch making it five hours since the last time she had seen him at breakfast. Walking into the Great Hall an hour ago and noting his absence made Hermione's emotional reactions conflict. Immensely relieved her abuser wasn't there; unable to make her every move feel staged. But with his whereabouts unknown, Hermione felt on edge waiting for him to suddenly appear out of no where maybe catching her saying something he might deem as 'hinting'.

Seamus and Dean came to stand behind her in the line a couple of minutes later. Hermione reached for a random book out of her bag at the same time as quickly saying hello. Before the boys could ask her any friendly questions Hermione began intensely reading behind her book.

Her fingertips creased the pages of her book caused from anxious sweat. She felt the nervous need to use the toilet again. Her throat dry, knees weak and feeling a throbbing headache coming over her.

"She's not listening. Hermione! Oh - hasn't her hair's gone a bit wild!" the sound of Lavender laughing echoed through the line of students.

Hermione looked up to catch every peer nearby turning to look at her. Lavender waved until Hermione noticed her; the blonde grinning behind Ron and Harry.

Ron turned his back on Lavender causing the blonde to pout. He gave Hermione a soft smile and stepped close hoping to hide her blushing face. Everyone else in the corridor resumed to their own social groups seconds later allowing her the chance to calm her embarrassment.

"Is it really that bad?" Hermione whispered trying to pat her bushy hair down.

"Come on," Harry called tugging at Ron's sleeve but his attempt went ignored leaving his two friends behind.

"No it's fine," Ron reassured her moving closer when Dean and Seamus shoved passed.

Hermione could feel her hair had doubled in size. _How embarrassing_ she was meant to look and feel collected - not like a deranged lion dragged through a bush backwards. She dropped her book and bag to quickly try and pull her hair into a pony tail.

"Weasley! Stop touching Granger and enter this class immediately!" Snape bellowed from an open door. Glaring at the only two students left standing in the empty corridor.

Ron snapped his hand away from only hovering a centimetre above Hermione's hair. He walked quickly up to the professor and entered the class. Completely unaware he had just left Hermione frozen behind.

Snape clenched his jaw locking eyes with the girl.

He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to be alone with her again especially so soon after their short shameful discussion last night. Snape released his hold and allowed the classroom door to close. With the door clicking shut he noticed the girl's terrified eyes widen. Wishing nothing more than voiding them both from this delicate situation, Snape tried to think of a way to calm her visible reaction towards him before they entered the two hour class.

Hermione stepped back after he slowly started to approach her with his blank expression unreadable. Soon all she could see was the font of his black teaching attire then only both their shoes as she looked down. Unable to manage tying her hair back after Snape's sudden appearance, Hermione found comfort in her curls falling in front of her face.

"Your book Miss Granger," Snape spoke.

Hermione quickly looked up from his boots to his hand offering her book.

She gulped and tentatively reached for it but she found Snape kept his hold. He stepped closer and moved the book down to the side of his leg pulling her arm with it. He didn't look at her once but stood faced in her direction.

"Nothing untoward is going too occur during this class," his low voice told her then pushed the book in her hand breaking the intimidating connection.

Snape rotated on his heel back to the classroom door with his teaching cloak swirling. Half predicting the girl would run away from his class. He was mildly surprised when he neared the closed classroom door and heard her footsteps following after him. Granger wasn't the sort to miss class. Even in her second year Snape recalled the girl attending his potion class just a day after her bout in the school ward after witnessing the basilisk's reflection. Snape turned and watched her take a little run towards him. Her curly head again facing down with arms struggling to support her heavy bag.

Hermione turned her back towards Snape as she walked passed him into the classroom. Making sure not even her cloak touched him. Once in the classroom her late arrival went ignored by her chattering classmates who were all making the most of their free time without their professor.

"Just typical," Ron muttered looking around the classroom up at the tortured portraits. Hermione dropped her bag on the floor underneath her reserved seat next to Ron. Both he and Harry both looked unconcerned about her arriving minutes after them.

The door slammed shut with all general noise abruptly sucked out. The room drowned in darkness without the stream of daylight from the corridor. The back of every now silent student's head nervously lowered waiting for their new Dark Arts professor to walk to the front and start the class.

* * *

Granger didn't look up once during Snape's nonverbal spells lecture along with Draco who was also scribbling head down. Certain the girl was making educational notes whilst Draco undoubtedly used his lesson time to fill his parchment with random doodles. They were the only two students not facing him and both Draco and Granger gave Snape valid reason not to call them out for it.

Hermione barely coping with her nerves from being in the same room as Snape felt a twisted reassurance from his words seconds before entering the class. It gave her the confirmation this 'should' just be a normal lesson. He wasn't planning to make this time unbearable more than what it already was.

Snape patrolled during the practical half of the lesson thus making Hermione again feel oddly comforted whenever her professor walked back into her eye line. She was already trying to successfully shield from her partner Neville's hexes and jinxes whilst at the same time making sure to locate Snape before concentrating and silently aiming her own spells.

"_Protego!_"

Hermione paused along with the rest of the class after hearing Harry yell. Her breath caught when she turned to witness Snape knocked ungracefully off balance hitting his hip on a desk corner.

Hermione stood horrified.

She watched as Snape scowled. He aimed his furious glare at Harry stood in front of her but she felt as though every bit of Snape's anger was targeted at her.

Hermione felt weak listening to Harry, her stomach flipped when he friend cheekily answered Snape back. She had to rest a palm on a desk to support her trembling knees. Truly relived and nearly close to tears when Harry only received a detention.

When the class finally finished Hermione packed away her parchment with the entire lecture written down and stuffed it into her bag. Her body drenched in a layer of cold sweat after the drama concerning Harry talking out of turn. Hermione wanted nothing more than a shower and a moment alone.

Snape stood at his desk folding his arms tightly lowering his gaze to observe the panicked girl hurry. The lesson could have been a lot worse he thought. Fearing Draco would be difficult and refuse to respect instructions since the blonde boy had become impossibly more of a brat overnight. Surprisingly though, Draco had followed the lesson and caused no need for any interaction between them.

With Granger, Snape purposely kept a close distance to the girl making sure he could see her and allow her to see him after her curly head anxiously turning could have easily caused someone to ask questions.

The dreaded lesson had not been as dire as expected. Snape was mildly pleased for gaining a detention with Potter. Certain '_The Chosen One_' had just broken a personal record so soon in a new term.

According to Snape's plans he should be talking to Draco this evening. Whilst continue to avoid Granger at all costs and keep tabs on her from a distance via hopefully overhearing his colleagues continue to praise her in the staff room as they have done every year.

* * *

Hermione dramatically flicked a page in her book.

Ron and Harry had joined her in the common room after dinner. She was showered and changed into casual clothes. The half an hour alone washing gave Hermione the chance to build herself up again after Snape's class. She hadn't cried like she thought she would when the warm shower water poured down over her. Stood under the water agreeing with herself the lesson had passed far better than she imagined. Snape hadn't purposely asked her any questions during his lecture. He hadn't come over and position her wand arm like he had with other students struggling to cast a silent hex. He hadn't asked her to stay behind.

Feeling calmer in her jeans and cosy jumper Hermione's remaining evening was booked out for studying. Down in the common room sat in between Harry and Ron plus Crookshanks snuggled on her knee. Hermione was about to start reading ahead for tomorrow's lessons but both her friends had other ideas; speculating Harry's potion book loudly distracting her from studying.

Hermione looked over Ron's shoulder several times. Scrunching her nose up to the littered pages with the cramped tight text written all in between margins and any free gaps adamant the book contained illegal methods and most definitely unregulated.

"See, I told you. That's what it says," Harry pointed over Hermione to the very potion instructions they had made today.

"If we were meant to do it that way then why doesn't the printed text say so? It's unsafe Harry following this unknown person's scribbles. Even if they prove a better outcome - _it's simply cheating,_" Hermione looked away from the abused potion book and tried again to read her own.

"Yeah she's got a point. Do you even know who it belonged to before?" Ron asked.

"No. I've looked but no one's left a name -" Harry reached over and took the book from Ron for another look.

"_Specialis revelio!_" Hermione interrupted to cast the spell the same time as closing her own book compelled by distraction and curiosity by the potions book's original owner.

"Thanks but nope still nothing," Harry scanned the outside cover and then the inside. "Oh wait!" there on the first page a line of text started to appear.

"The Half Blood Prince?" Ron spoke out loud what the three of them were all reading.

"Sounds dangerous," Hermione quickly added.

"Sounds cool."

Hermione sniffed at Ron's words and picked up her book. Crookshanks meowed at her abrupt move but snuggled back into the now empty but still warm seat. "Well I'm going to study in private. Have fun cheating," Hermione bossily told them and rushed from the common room on route to study in the library away from Harry, Ron and the scruffy book.

* * *

Professor Slughorn smiled and politely nodded towards Hermione as they passed in the corridor. Only a few feet outside the library Hermione hesitated and quickly turned to catch up with the new professor.

"Sir?"  
Slugorn stopped and turned.  
"Yes Granger? Something wrong?"  
"No, well... erm yes. I wondered if I could maybe make today's potion again. In my own time of course," Hermione asked rushing the latter part of her request after catching Slughorn frown.

"I haven't got anymore Felix if that's what you're after?" Slughorn pulled his waistcoat sharply down ruffled by the second student today asking for their own vial of luck.

"No I'm not. I just know I can do better. I'm normally always the best in the class," Hermione blushed at her own compliment. But then again maybe she would have won the exercise if she hadn't been so worked up over attending her Dark Arts class taught by Professor Snape.

Professor Slughorn smiled at the young lady. He had been in a very similar situation before. A generation ago to be exact and that other student had become his most favourite part of his collection.

"I didn't expect any of you to actually brew the potion Granger. Just a test to evaluate your academic levels but I'm not surprised by Harry in the slightest," Slughorn rocked proudly back and forth on the balls of his feet. "But if you need to push yourself then be my guest. You can use the lab anytime after lessons. Using only the ingredients agreed mind - and as long as you clean up after yourself as well," Slughorn started patting his robes until he found his inside pocket to pull out a slip of parchment.

* * *

Hermione counted the ingredients spread neatly across the desk alone in the potions classroom. Enjoying the routine of ticking them off from the Draught of Living Death potion list Professor Slughorn had asked the class to prepare only this morning. Determined to produce to a higher standard like Harry's but without the help of his unpublished scribbles now using her time working carefully and more precise and without the pressure and stress she felt watching Harry completely go outside the text book instructions. Hermione had spent the last half hour carefully preparing and measuring each ingredient. Her mind fully focused on something that wasn't Professor Snape felt healthy.

"_Get out!_"

Hermione glanced quickly over her shoulder to meet Draco Malfoy who stood defensively in the open doorway. Her stretched nerves nearly snapped from Malfoy's outburst.

"No," Hermione answered turning back around. She heard Draco's footsteps rush up to her desk but still she jumped after he slammed his right hand down on her open text book.

"Leave or I'll make you mudblood_._"

Hermione scoffed. "I'm a prefect Malfoy. I have more right than you to be here. If anyone's leaving - it'll be you_._"

Draco muttered another insult under his breath before shoving and slamming her text book down loudly on the dungeon floor. He then roughly gripped her left elbow and struggled to drag her backwards to the door.

"Get off!" Hermione shouted digging her heels trying to pull at the fingers gripping her upper arm. Surprised by her proactive reaction pleased she hadn't just crumbled to the floor in fear.  
However still overpowered by Malfoy's physical strength they neared the closed classroom door. Hermione's mind acted fast remembering her wand tucked in her hair. She released her curls and quickly aimed her gripped wand down to Draco's legs shouting loudly a stinging jinx.  
Draco fell over his own steps trying to run at her but ended up landing hard face down. He turned over onto his bottom to urgently cling his right leg now crippled by the excruciating hot pins and needles.

"You bitch!" He spat and hastily pointed his wand up towards her yelling multiple hexes hoping at least one would hit her. Hermione ran at him shielding herself with a protection charm learnt from Dumbledore's Army and successfully cast away his magic. She quickly stood over him with her feet either side of his chest raising her right leg twisting her foot into his duelling arm until he released his wand. Hermione crouched down and snatched it up then pointed her own wand hard into the tip of his nose. Only their laboured panting filled the room as they both wondered to what she was going to do next.

"Miss Granger. What are you doing?"

Both students looked up towards the door to see Professor Snape standing lazily folding his arms.

Hermione stepped back bumping then gripping the edge of a table. Trying to compose herself fully aware her hair had bounced widely during their spat and her jumper neck was stretched over her left shoulder from pulling out of Draco's grip. Her heart was beating fast from the fighting but her pulse throbbed even faster when Snape looked questioning her.

Snape's black eyes snapped away from the girl to the sound of Draco falling slumping down to the floor. He was struggling to stand with his injured leg causing him to slip from reaching the nearest desk. The boy's weakened attempt irritated Snape causing him to step fully inside the classroom and pull the boy up to stand.

Hermione observed Draco snatch his arm away from their professor. Draco even looked disgusted at where he had been touched and didn't acknowledge the gesture apart from curl his lip and shuffle as far away as possibly from Snape.

It had been less than five minutes since Snape was sat in his dungeon office across from Draco demanding to be given a vial of Felix Felicis. When the boy burst through his office at the requested time; Snape hoped Draco was finally willing to talk openly about his paramount task since they were able to speak privately away from the manor - and their master. However seconds into the spoilt brat's whining for Potter's prize Snape cut him short with a blunt refusal. The quick conversation soon over once Draco stormed out.

Snape left Draco to steady himself on his injured leg by the door and walked over to the girl's work station. With one flick from his right hand the potion preparation started clearing itself away.

"No! Wait!" Hermione pleaded with out stretched arms trying to cover her desk. Trying to stop her organised equipment from vanishing but the vials, cauldron and cut ingredients clinked and appeared on the shelves clean and neatly back in place.

"Sir - but I hadn't even started!"

Snape avoided the girl's eyes and looked past over the top of her head.  
"Leave," he ordered.

Hermione sheepishly looked down to her bag to the enclosed pocket where she knew her signed permission slip was tucked inside. Feeling quite brave from fighting and not wanting her time spent preparing the potion to be wasted. With this confident anger Hermione dared for a second to think about pulling out the slip and waving it under her professor's nose. It wasn't her fault Draco attacked her.

"_Leave._"

Snape's deep voice repeated louder this time making Hermione snap from her short fantasy and quickly pack away her books to hurry towards the door.

Draco stretched out his arm blocking Granger's exit from the classroom.

"Draco," Snape warned behind them.  
Draco ignored his godfather and kept his arm in place.  
"You have something of mine," Draco tried snatching at her bag but she took a step back.

"This?" Hermione asked holding out Draco's wand from her back pocket. He went to snatch it but she quickly moved it back behind her.

"Miss Granger," Snape warned.

Hermione closed her eyes from hearing her abuser's irritating deep voice. She obeyed and dropped the wand into Draco's hand shoving past him hard as she left. Immensely glad to be away from the pair of them and feeling the need for another shower.

Seconds after Granger walked out Snape approached the smug boy and slammed the door closed. He easily threw the boy up against the door pulling him up by the collar inches off the floor.

Draco didn't panic or grab at Snape's fists nor shout pleas to be released. He just silently stared back into black eyes.

After all the recent horrific sights Draco had witnessed under his care. Snape had hoped the boy would have at least tighten the grip on his wand instead of easily being beaten and unharmed by someone as inexperienced as Granger just minutes after leaving his office.

"And you repeatedly whine, insisting you don't require my assistance," Snape sneered abruptly dropping Draco by the scuff of his jacket and threw the brat out into the empty corridor.

The door slammed in Draco's face. He quickly smoothed his crumpled uniform and straightened his collar. Quickly looking down both corridors to make sure no one caught his manhandled physique before walking away.

Snape leaned his forehead against the cold stone wall trying to remain calm. His plans to persuade Draco into divulging his plans where overshadowed by anger consuming him after looking into the blondes baiting eyes.

Also, he felt the persistent growing guilt after seeing Granger so soon after class.

Snape had all his evenings this year already booked up with potion making, marking papers and the impromptu dark meetings. He hoped his absence during most meals and patrolling until very late meant Granger would have at least her evenings free without the fear of seeing him.

Snape pushed back from the wall and made his way towards his previous teaching desk and traced his right hand along the length of the desk until he stood before a bookcase to the far left. He pulled at the spine of a thin book only a millimetre out on the middle shelf and with closed eyes silently cast his entry.

The charmed entrance lifted and the large bookcase faded opening up a dark staircase leading down further underground to his private lab.

**Author's note: **_more reviews please!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: **_this chapter hasn't been beta checked yet._

Hermione didn't tell Harry or Ron what had happened between her and Draco earlier in the week. She didn't want to explain nor allow any reason to mention her professor's name out aloud.

Instead she chose to stow it away with her other secret associating Professor Snape.

She kept a low profile during the next Dark Arts class two days later. Making sure she wasn't the first student to enter or the last to leave. Apart from that lesson Hermione hadn't seen Snape again all week; he missed all meals in the Great Hall and was never glimpsed in any corridors or walk ways. Relieved her frantic silent prayers went answered when Filch came to escort her and Marcus back after the following prefect patrols.

However without seeing Snape; Hermione still felt more on edge. Deciding her most relaxed state was during his lessons when she knew exactly where he was.

"And then I took a swerve, completely block it," Ron told Hermione.

He pushed the spine of her book down when she moved it higher to hide her rolling eyes.

"So I think I'm in a pretty good shape for trials," Ron nodded to himself and stretched his arms out. All week he had been trying to prove to everyone along with himself that he was going to make the Quidditch Keeper trials next Saturday.

"Good for you," Hermione smiled and started trying to read again.

Keen to start her personal study timetable after spending most of her free time attending the first 'Slug Club' hosted by Professor Slughorn earlier this evening. The reputable meal was spent with Hermione uncomfortably ogled by Cormac Mclaggen; a 7th year Gryfindor.

But putting the dinner party to one side; Hermione was itching to start her homework knowing she had missed large parts of lectures from zoning in and out from her dark consuming thoughts featuring Snape.

"I think you should sit on the first row in the spectator tower. You know, so you won't miss any of my moves," Ron nudged up closer to her on the sofa and dropped his arm heavily around her shoulders.

Hermione quickly stood up.

The recurring nightmare featuring the wire poking bed and a dark figure blocked all thoughts apart from the instinct to run from Ron's closeness.

"Something wrong Mione?" Ron asked.

Flustered and embarrassed by her reaction she pretended to frantically search around the sofa to try and cover her panic.

"I thought I brought it down…" she muttered starting to look under cushions.

"What? Have you lost something?" Ron moved forwards and attempted to help but there was only parchments, quills and two books on the coffee table.

"Yes... my white feathered quill."

"You need it now? What's wrong with these?" Ron pointed at their already inked quills.

"No. I need it for drawing diagrams. I prefer the tip of my white one," Hermione bit her bottom lip hoping Ron wouldn't read through her excuse.

"Be quick then. I don't want to look like a loner without you - _and Harry._" Ron told her and leaned back into the sofa.

"Actually I'm feeling a bit tired."

"What?! But it's only nine o'clock?!"

"It's been a long week."

"You've spent most of it in a book or with Slughorn anyway. Can you not at least stay up until Harry's back? I thought you'd want to hear all about Dumbledore's private lesson?"

"Oh I forgot about that... erm, maybe I'll just have a quick nap then."

"Yeah ok. Whatever." Ron huffily crossed his arms.

"Sorry," Hermione whispered gathering her things but Ron; already in a mood blatantly ignored her weak apology.

She took a second glance over her shoulder towards Ron before she reached the top of the stairs. Lavender was spotted making her way over to sit on the sofa arm already trying to talk to a sulking Ron.

Hermione felt guilty for leaving her friend alone but it really had been a long week. And after the sudden rush of panic from Ron innocently simply placing his arm around her; Hermione felt her stretched nerves snap.

With her bedroom empty and no one but Crookshanks to witness her dramatically throw herself face down onto her bed, screaming into her pillow. Followed by the sound of her muffled tears.

* * *

Snape mentally counted down the seconds until Potter would be entering his classroom. It was thankfully Saturday evening after a tiresome week of keeping tabs on both Draco and Granger. A week of lessons, patrols, and time wasted in the staff room to late nights brewing in his private lab.

Snape was actually looking forward to Potter's detention.

During classes; Snape covertly watched Draco and the girl. Draco still his usual arrogant self ignoring Snape's office invites but had time to announce in the Slytherin common room on Thursday that he quit being their Quidditch keeper. With no prior notice Snape learnt the new team development an hour later only when Mr Flint; the team captain asked permission to trial and replace Malfoy. Snape could only presume Draco now thought his weekends were much more valued this year than on the playing field.

Granger had left Snape to teach the second class with also no insistent interruptions. Although this welcoming change to his lectures caused him to lose concentration for the first time in fifteen teaching years every time he caught her looking at him. He could tell the girl was barely coping with her jittery nervous glances increasing whenever they shared the same space.

During the last lesson on Thursday; Granger had left so quickly after he had called the end of class; she deserted Potter and Weasley who stood around confused to where she had gone until Snape ordered them out.

With fifteen seconds left before Potter would arrive the fireplace flames burned green signally a call from the Floo Network. Snape exhaled deeply and leaned his potion gloved hands down on the desk to wait for someone's head to pop through.

"Ah Severus."

"Headmaster," Snape greeted and then resumed to place the freshest Flobberworms from one bucket to the other ready for Potter's appropriate punishment.

"Good evening. Just a quick call; did you manage to remember the name of the acquaintance we spoke of?"

Snape paused for a moment before dropping a slimy lump. He glanced over to the old man's green glowing face in the coals.

"I did."

"And?" Dumbledore asked with urgency.

"We are meeting Thursday evening," Snape answered through gritted teeth.

Another weekend planned for him by one of his masters.

"Good news!" Dumbledore smiled whilst Snape raised an eyebrow to the old man's reaction.

He wouldn't label what was planned as positive the way Albus was implying.

"Was that all?" Snape asked; overly aware Potter should be knocking on the door any second now.

"Ah no. I'm afraid I'm borrowing Harry tonight resulting in him unable to attend your detention this evening. I would have sent a note but I've only just got back and well anyway, I wanted to see how you're coping. Have you been called at all while I've been away?"

Snape clenched his jaw.

"No. However, I assume I will be once the order is complete," Snape answered fighting the urge to rub the clothed mark on his left arm.

"Well, remember Arthur or Nymphadora are your point of contact if I'm not here. As I'm sure I'll be away from the castle when you're delivering."

"Of course," Snape answered folding his arms. "Albus?"

"Yes Severus?"

"You do intend to rest after I have administrated the potion, I presume?"

"If you think it's wise, yes. Why do you ask?"

"Just enquiring before I reschedule Potter's detention to next Saturday. I wouldn't want your _private lessons _to get in the way," Snape smirked.

Dumbledore chuckled causing the green flames to rise higher.

"Of course, I'll inform Harry now. Good night Severus"

"Albus." Snape acknowledged as the flames died down.

The wriggling slugs noisily squelched in the buckets ready to be sorted. The vile animals were fresh for Potter to gut and bottle but with only three hours maximum before they would expire; Snape summoned his potion tools and start the long gruesome process himself.

* * *

Harry returned to the common room hours later to find Hermione and Ron sleepily waiting up for him.

They listened as he replayed Dumbledore's lesson leaving them all trying to work out why knowing Tom Riddle was a half blood would help with his prophecy.

* * *

For the entire weekend Hermione through herself into her studies. With Ron, Ginny and Harry practising for trials she had the time to read and write in peace.

She even made time to finish the Draught of Living Death and handed it in to Professor Slughorn. However the hour spent in his personal quarters made her regret agreeing to a cup of tea after he showed her thick scrapbooks of past students and their achievements.

But trying to keep herself busy, Hermione still found the dark thoughts replaying what Snape had done. The only way she could stop them was through forcing herself to read a chapter of her favourite book; A History of Magic.

Even at four o'clock Sunday morning she read under candle light until her breathing calmed before trying to sleep again.

* * *

Hermione decided to keep her book in her bag and involve herself with Ron and Harry chatting in line waiting before entering the Dark Arts classroom Monday afternoon.

_See I'm coping._

She was successfully training her mind to push the dark thoughts away and force herself to be normal. But then her body always rebelled.

Standing in front of Harry beside Ron, Hermione felt the tell-tale signs begin.

Her hands began to sweat, her heart hammering. A pounding headache hitting her temples all while she stood smiling at her friends and nodding along.

_No. I'm coping. No one needs to know. Stop it he will know I'm struggling._ She told herself as they entered his class.

* * *

"I didn't get an invite again - did you?" Marcus asked Monday night during their evening patrol.

They were talking about Professor Slughorn's second round of 'Slug Club' this Saturday.

Hermione had received her invite along with Harry's but Ron was awkwardly left forgotten again and all week her and Harry heard nothing but from the grumpy red head.

"Yes, but I don't think many others did," she answered trying to ease Marcus's rejection.

"Is Harry invited?"

"Erm?"

Hermione stumbled thinking she didn't want Marcus to go off in a stubborn mood like Ron. Glad they were due to split up soon to take their separate patrols between the parallel corridors. Hermione replied quickly taking a sharp left before Marcus could ask her anything else.

"Yes think so but he's not going - he's got detention."

* * *

Snape ate all his meals Monday through to Friday in his quarters; opting to spend all his free time preparing the potion for the headmaster ready to add the final ingredients Friday night.

During the strenuous days Snape was thankful Draco hadn't earned any detentions or caught roaming the castle after curfew. Snape's wards on the Slytherin common room alerted him the boy was leaving during the night but Snape didn't having time to follow and investigate.

Granger was also quietly under his radar. She was behaving more natural during their Monday class and even raised her hand up to one of his questions. He reluctantly allowed her to answer by keeping her waiting; worried for what she might say. But thankfully the girl blushed throughout her entire answer leaving Snape finding her usual self reassuring.

* * *

Hermione slammed her bag down on the stool.

Not only had she failed to top Harry again in another potion lesson but now Draco and his goons were again hanging out in the restricted section of the library.

Malfoy's new hang out was loudly disturbing her study schedule and without the back up of Harry and Ron this evening due to their increased Quidditch practice meant she had to leave.

With no where but her noisy common room or bedroom to study, her bedroom now out of bounds due to the recent risk Lavender maybe inside. Forever trying to ask Hermione subtle questions about Ron; when every girl in their year knew Lavender blatantly fancied him.

Hermione's mind quickly clicked to the thought of her potion permission slip signed until the end of the month still in her bag. She stopped in her tracks walking away from the library.

Soon her temper slowly improved in the quiet classroom as she started to unpack her bag. Split between deciding if she should work on her Divination paper first or start preparing the potion she had averagely scored.

* * *

Snape's wards announced there was someone in the classroom above. Without an adequate reason to speak with the Draco since his office invites were continuously ignored Snape never happened to come across to corner the boy during his teacher patrols even when he knew for a fact the boy had ventured out.

Now hoping Draco had just made a foolish mistake Snape cast a freezing spell, holding the complex brewing to allow him to make his way up the stairs.

* * *

Hermione carelessly looked up after hearing a floorboard creak at the front near the teacher's desk.

She settled back on reading before starting the potion and was already comfortably resting her chin in her palm looking down at the pages.

But she bolted up right up after focussing on Snape's sudden appearance in front of Slughorn's desk.

Snape thought about taking the steps back down to his lab and escaping the girl but then that would openly reveal the concealed entrance.

Hermione dipped her head and began reading her book pretending he wasn't there. She struggled under the pretence after just a few seconds when she heard his footsteps slowly walk towards her. Continuing to stare a hole into the pages she hunched her shoulders up and lowered her face.

Snape had planned to simply walk past Granger and exit the classroom after already silently summoning the door to open before he walked towards it. If she spoke he would allow it. He would stop and face her, listen to what they needed to discuss.

But only if the girl spoke first.

Hermione felt a cold prickle spread from her neck up to the side of her face.

The paranoid feeling alerting her someone was watching she nervously glanced over her shoulder as he walked past but she snapped back to face the front. Hating herself for meeting his black eyes.

She chose to stare up to the potion filled shelved walls trying to calm her breathing.

A moment later she dared to look over her shoulder again.

He was just stood facing her.

She swallowed thick gulps of air after her eyes fluttered up from Snape's black boots up to his dark buttoned front before looking back into his cold eyes.

Snape couldn't leave.

Even though Granger had silently sat as he walked past he couldn't help his immense curiosity to learn just how she was managing to keep their secret hidden.

He didn't believe the girl was as gifted as him at compartmentalising memories for one to function on a daily basis. Without asking her out right with concern Snape highly doubted her mental strength which caused him to silently enter her mind.

His connection was met with a clear vision of a tall faceless frame draped in black biting her neck from behind.

Blood was drawn dripping brightly down her naked body.

Snape knew from past experience he was witnessing a recurring nightmare.

The girl's night terror was occurring in the very same room he had abused her but everything was coated in black or white. The only colour was the blood staining her skin. The faceless form spoke in a deep voice identical and unmistakably his. Using it to speak threats in between violent repeating bites down her slim pale neck.

Snape's hold struggled after Granger; he assumed must have clicked to what he was doing. Her dark thought brightened swirling to show a memory of herself standing in a potions class taught by Slughorn.

The recent memory sharp with detail revolved around the girl profusely blushing; confessing to the entire class her secret scents. Stopping herself just before admitting out loud her final fragrance but her mind screamed the image of Ronald Weasley devouring a cherry scone; the girls mind thought back fondly to the freshly baked scent.

Snape broke the connection before any more teenage memories escaped. All to aware untrained minds uncontrollably push their most embarrassing memories forward when the victim panics during Legilimency.

Hermione raised a hand to her head touching her forehead that throbbed with a painful headache as soon as her professor looked away. It felt as though her brain was being pulled out through her skull.

A suspicious thought whispered in her mind that Snape might have just used Legilimency on her but before she could question him, he was already heading out of the classroom.

* * *

Draco snatched and crumpled up another note from a nervous first year. He dropped the litter on the floor and smirked up at Snape sitting at the top table knowing full well his godfather had just witnessed him throwing away another invite.

He wasn't going to tell Snape anything. He was going to do this alone and gain the respect his family name should rightfully uphold.

Draco thought back to Snape sat smugly during most of the summer in Malfoy Manor. In the very seat where Draco believed his convicted father should have been filling beside the Dark Lord instead of scandalously rotting away in Azakban.

Draco repeatedly replayed the words he had overheard Snape use to reassure his mother not to visit her own husband nor allow Draco due to the Dark Lord's wishes. Positive Snape was just preventing him from gaining any helpful tactics from his father.

But Draco spent his summer believing he was gaining the upper hand and outsmarting Snape. After every secret session taught by his aunt Bella in the guest house Draco learnt Legilimency and practised the harshest of curses.

_I can do this_ - Draco told himself every morning. It was only his unprepared nerves letting him down. His unsettled stomach made him unable to eat most meals and his constant wired mind was struggling to sleep fully throughout the night. But he felt ready.

The killings and kidnappings observed during the summer were the cause of his shattered nerves along with the building pressure of his important task. Draco was convinced Snape wasn't allowing him to join in with other Death Eaters.

Constantly he was kept annoyingly to a safe distance out of the way as though he was an infant to be nursed. Snape, his acting nanny would apparate them a far distance away from any gathering. Repeatedly appearing to only stand and supervise the havoc from some hillside or building.

Sometimes, if Draco dared to take a step closer to the action Snape would hold out an arm silently warning him behind his masked face to keep back.

Draco thought; if he started murdering and torturing as much as his aunt and fellow brothers; it would ease the pedestal pressure of murdering the fool of a headmaster.

Adamant Snape was keeping him wrapped in this bubble ensuring his inexperience would lead him to fail to leave the honour, respect and glory ready for the taking.

* * *

Whether Granger felt him intrusive last night after connecting to her thoughts the girl never slipped Snape any signs during their Dark Arts class today. He purposely asked less question than his teaching plan stated cautiously in case he permitted the girl to speak up and make use of the entire classroom to confess.

After the two hour lesson Snape waited and sat behind his desk blankly looking down to his hands while the students filtered out once the room was left with no scratching chairs and shuffling feet Snape looked up.

The classroom was empty.

Relieved the girl hadn't stayed behind to scold him for what he was sure another count of abuse on his massaged his tired face and stretched his back to hang his head over the edge of his chair. With closed eyes he mentally started evaluate the many potions he still had to make this month.

After several minutes the next class of 3rd years started noisily lining up outside. Snape lifted himself heavily off his chair and stretched out his arms.

He silently counted down the seconds before the class outside was due to start then precisely on the very last second he threw the classroom door open. Making all the chattering students look up and freeze into silence.

* * *

Hermione's couldn't sleep again last night.

She was certain Snape had used Legilimency; bringing thoughts she solemnly kept under lock key rush to the forefront of her mind. She could only base her assumption from what she had researched in books rather than asking Harry for first hand Legilimency experience. Fully aware Harry would want to know why someone had entered her mind without consent thus opening a dangerous can of worms she doubted could be controlled.

* * *

Later that night Snape ran through the castle down to the dungeons. He had just returned from collecting the ingredients for Albus' potion and eager to start the brewing process.

The glass bottles in his cloak felt heavy even though he had charmed them weightless and miniature. The importance of the contents mentally weighed him down. Normally after visiting his source of illegal ingredients, Snape would allow himself a glass of Firewhiskey as prize for what he had to do in return.

But this evening; identical to all the other embarrassing midnight meetings, Snape could not allow himself to divulge in a drink tonight.

* * *

"Bye then!" Ron said bitterly throwing himself onto the sofa.

A busy day watching the Quidditch trials was finally over; Hermione felt relived there was no more cheering in the cold trying to make out which player was who until next month.

"Bye Ron." Both Hermione and Harry replied but they glanced to each other looking concerned.

"_Have fun_," Ron sarcastically continued grabbing a cushion to hug and rest his chin, completely avoiding both his friends stood behind him.

"- s'not like I want to celebrate making Keeper or nothing."

"Believe me if I could get out of Snape's detention I would," Harry told the back of Ron's head.

"Yeah but _she's_ not got detention." Ron threw an arm up to his left where he knew Hermione stood behind the sofa.

"What? You said you don't care about me going to 'Slug Club?" Hermione added taking a step closer to the sofa.

"Yeah well."

"What's wrong with him?" Hermione whispered to Harry as he gently started pushing her towards the door.

"Nothing," Harry told her but he had a look of secrecy to him. He was thinking back to earlier today when he revealed to Ron regarding Hermione's short romance with Krum had actually included snogging just like they had witnessed Ginny and Dean doing so just outside their common room after the hectic trials today.

"Hmmmm - ok. Enjoy your detention," Hermione narrowed her eyes at Harry suspiciously.

"Enjoy the dinner party," Harry replied, both of them walking away in separate directions.

* * *

Hermione was sat next to Ginny during the second 'Slug Club' and once again opposite Mclaggen who sat across directly from her. He was still struggling to function under the Confundus charm she had used during trials to help Ron. She even felt a twinge of guilt when Mclaggen's heavy hand knocked a glass of butter beer down Blaise's leg.

Throughout dinner Hermione felt on show even in just her jumper and jeans under Mclaggen's seductive smouldering stares. His injured mental state didn't seem to affect his prowling advances still causing her skin to crawl. Just the thought of what he was implying; licking his spoon made her want to be sick.

After the six course meal washed down with more glasses of butter beer and listening to self boasting from every student the evening was eventually over. Ginny and Hermione left Slughorn's quarters following the rest of the party out into the corridor.

"Hey slow down!" Mclaggen called after them. "We're all going the same way."

Both girls carried on walking but Hermione had to jerk Ginny back after the red haired cheekily glanced round.

Then to Hermione's shock Blaise caught them up and held out the crook of his arm to a flattered Ginny asking her to walk ahead with him.

The girls unlinked as Ginny agreed leaving Hermione standing alone until Mclaggen quickly jogged up behind her.

He dropped his arm around her shoulders with a grin plastered on his face.

"You look nice," Hermione was told before she was pulled in closer into his side. Her attempts to push him away gave her a small opening to walk a few steps ahead.

"For a bookworm," Mclaggen cheekily added catching her back and holding her tightly around the waist.

"You're welcome Granger," he purred.

"You feel good too," Mclaggen dared pinching her bottom.

Before Hermione could slap his hand away her arm was twirled and her body pushed back up to a corridor wall.

"No stop messing around! We'll lose them!" Hermione protested straining to look for Ginny.

"That's the point," Mclaggen told her resting his forearm on the wall, jerking slightly from his damaged reflexes. He held her hip with his other hand keeping her in place.

"I like you '_like you,_'" he confessed moving closer.

"That's nice but really I need to be going," Hermione placed her hands on his chest to push him away.

"How about we stop talking?" He asked.

Hermione swerved to the right when Mclaggen moved in for a kiss but she contractedly quickly hugged him back pulling him close after hearing heavy footsteps coming towards them. She clung on to him tightly hiding her face in his chest; completely ignoring him take full advantage of her boldness to grab at her bottom. Just hoping whoever was approaching would just walk on and save her from the certain embarrassment and the gossip that would surely follow.

The footsteps came closer and as she hoped they walked past.

"That was really lucky," Mclaggen whispered after the footsteps faded.

"Who was it?" Hermione whispered pushing him off.

"Snape." "Can't believe it, he just walked by. He must have seen us but didn't do anything. Could have at easily lost at least fifty points!"

"Really?" Hermione asked feeling her knees unsteadily holding her up.

"Yeah but don't worry about it though. He walked off somewhere down there," Mclaggen lazily pointed down the corridor.

Hermione squinted still making out the retreating black cloaked frame of Snape walking away.

* * *

Snape was making his way through the castle when he caught Mclaggen groping some eager girl. He could have easily walked another way but he wanted the advantage to take fifty points each per horned up student.

Walking closer, Snape soon recognised the bundle of golden brown curls peaking behind the tall boy's shoulders.

Swallowing his shock from finding Granger in such a common embrace, Snape struggled to authoritatively call out through not wanting to have her wide eyes focussed on him once again.

Snape stared straight ahead and chose to walk completely ignoring the tangled couple.

* * *

Dumbledore was dressed in purple and white stripped pyjamas matched with a short purple hat and fluffy slippers. Sat at his desk he peered into a corked vile swirling the silvery liquid inside.

"And you're positive this didn't touch your skin?" Dumbledore asked Snape who stood to his right.

"Certain," Snape replied.

"Did your contact not enquire why you wanted this?" Dumbledore asked.

"He never does," Snape smirked thinking back to his late evening yesterday.

Snape went to grasp the vial to serve but the headmaster protectively pulled it to his chest.

"I don't want you to risk yourself anymore than required Severus. My time is soon to be over but yours, well, yours may not need to be cut so short." Dumbledore stretched out his cursed hand signally Snape to stand back, once he did the vial was uncorked.

Dumbledore quickly slumped forwards with closed eyes onto his desk after downing the silvery content. His head and night cap falling to the side.

Snape pushed the headmasters chair out to check Albus' pulse; pressing long fingers below an ear to then change and monitor the pulse on the wrist belonging to the blackened hand.

Ensuring the headmaster was stable Snape magically summoned the vial and corked it and wandlessly cleared away the few spelt drops. The mixture of unicorn and centaur blood was a toxic concoction and utterly more so potent with the added extract of Thestral bone. This highly illegal potion should mould with the headmaster's curse and after; if proved successfully Albus would have a maximum of five months to live instead of the short five days Snape had solemnly predicted.

The cure was expected to attack then lace every vein and nerve in the old man's body leaving him bed ridden for at least a week until his body was pumped with the magical strength of the murdered animals. Snape had argued and refused when the headmaster asked for him to brew the taboo ingredients. He honestly thought he could produce a cure without side affects as severe as a cursed soul.

But Albus insisted and believed only this method would allow him to live his last months as the strong wizard Potter deserved. Not the frail cursed weak one Snape described if they just ignored the curse already spreading up from his hand.

Snape turned from Albus to summon a call through the Floo Network.

Poppy's head appeared straight away after waiting for the signal. The nurse entered the classroom brushing dust from her nursing apron looking concerned to see Albus leaning back unconscious in his chair.

Severus and Albus had warned Poppy only this morning of what they were doing and asked for her aid in case Severus was summoned; making him unable to oversee Albus' serious symptoms.

"Now we wait," Snape spoke and walked over to one of the plush armchairs by the fire.

* * *

Hours passed as Poppy nursed Albus making sure whenever he slumped forwards she gently pushed him back. She kept track of his heart beat and temperature all the time glancing over to Severus who was reading until he eventually fell asleep still half holding an open book.

Snape gripped his wand after a loud noise woke him.

The book he had been reading echoed hitting the floor. Poppy chuckled and walked over to him.

She soothingly brushed his black hair away from his face ignoring when he pulled away from her touch. The nurse unconcerned she had been very close to being cursed until Snape soon realised she was someone safe, someone he perhaps trusted.

"You obviously needed the rest Severus," Poppy placed a hand on his shoulder. "Go and sleep a full night's rest in your bed. The worst of his temperature has passed and I'll be taking him to his quarters soon anyway. Severus. You really need to rest and perhaps eat something too," she added after squeezing his thin shoulder.

Snape nodded and stood freeing himself from her touch.

He picked up and placed the fallen book back into the bookcase then glanced over to the headmaster still breathing. He dipped his head towards Poppy and went to leave the office.

Barely hearing Poppy's final words of advice; "take care Severus."

**Author's note: **_p__lease review!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: **_Thanks for all the reviews so far and all your opinions. I will go back and correct the points some of you made. Really appreciate them! Keep on letting me know your thoughts on this story!_

"Don't do that again!" Hermione grabbed Ginny's arm; pulling her out from the crowd of students all rushing to their first lesson of the week.

"Do what?" Ginny replied following Hermione to an alcove hidden under a floor length tapestry.

"Leave me with McLaggen again. Where did you even go? And why did you go with Blaise? What about Dean?"

A burst of laughter from a group of students walked past their curtain hideout making Ginny have to wait before she could answer.

Hermione glared at her with crossed arms; choosing to even tap her foot as she waited ready for answers.

"We planned it," Ginny blurted her confession once the chatter outside quietened down. Then wishing she hadn't after seeing Hermione's wide eyed reaction.

"You what?"

"McLaggen really likes you and you haven't had a boyfriend since Krum, so when they asked if I would go along with their stupid plan. I said yes. I'm so sorry," Ginny moved forwards for a hug but her hands were swatted away.

"You think I should have a creep like that for a boyfriend?!"

Hermione nearly screamed pointing her arm in the air towards the covered exit as if McLaggen stood on the other side.

"I just thought-"

"You thought wrong," Hermione snapped. She went to step towards and lift up the tapestry but Ginny gently took both her elbows to face each other straight on.

"Hermione. I'm really sorry. Don't be mad with me."

Hermione stared at the stitched pattern behind Ginny's head.

She felt drowned by her emotions; didn't even trust herself to react appropriately anymore.

Completely forgetting about McLaggen, Hermione's thoughts focussed only on Snape whilst still struggling not to easily confide in Ginny. But her guard felt close to crumbling.

Ginny stumbled back slightly from the impact of Hermione throwing her face full into Ginny's shoulder.

The sound of loud crying muffled by her robe gave Ginny the sign this was serious.

A couple of minutes passed as Ginny supported Hermione.

Stroking her friend's bushy curls in hope to calm her, Ginny kept silent as Hermione cried but when her distressed friend starting attempting to speak through tears; Ginny softly pulled Hermione back to see if she was ready to talk.

"It's just so hard." Hermione hiccupped and sniffed wiping tears away.

"What is? Lessons?" Ginny quietly asked.

Hermione suddenly straightened up.

_So close._

Ginny's question made her aware of how close she nearly was to not coming back. Just a few more words and her secret would spill.

"NEWTs," Hermione quickly answered.

Ginny pulled her back for hug. "I know how tough it can be. Even Fred and George struggled before they dropped out. Don't worry you will do brilliant. I promise."

They stood hugging in the quite alcove waiting for Hermione to calm herself.

"You know, I really am sorry about leaving you last night. I just thought you could use some attention and, well, McLaggen isn't that bad really."

Ginny laughed after Hermione pulled away with a disgusted face.

"Come on miss fussy. Sounds like everyone's in lessons now," Ginny announced pulling the curtain to one side to leave.

Hermione followed but bumped into the back of Ginny from when they didn't take another step further.

"Morning sir."

Hermione heard Ginny politely greet a teacher.

"Miss Weasley."

Professor Snape's rich tones replied.

Hermione took a step further back deeper into the alcove to hide herself. She watched Snape's tall shadow stand directly before Ginny who was still poking her head round the curtain.

Hermione felt incredibly hot and cold all at the same time. A hammering headache began in her forehead.

_Don't look into his eyes._

"Why are you the two of you not in class, Miss Weasley and -"

Snape paused.

Hermione watched the curtain pull to one side. She held her breath watching his pale hand reach round; pulling the fabric to one side.

Snape expressed no concern finding her there. Their eyes met only for a second until Hermione lowered her head.

"- And Miss Granger?" Snape finished his question.

_Did he hear me crying?_

"Sorry sir, the corridor was crowded and we needed to check our bags… because Hermione thought she had left a book, sir."

"Well?" Snape questioned.

"And well, erm…we'll be on our way, sir?" Ginny asked hoping they were free.

"_Well_, does Miss Granger have the sort after book? I would not wish nor allow the two of you gossiping all the way back to your common room in search of a book."

Hermione watched the back of Ginny continue to look up to their towering professor.

"Let me just check, sir,"

Ginny stepped back leaving the curtain to swoop down. She turned to Hermione; shaking her head nervously, biting her lip.

"Just act along," Ginny whispered after scanning the floor then pointing at Hermione's bag.

She waited for Hermione to nod then quickly returned to the curtain.

"Its ok sir, she has it."

"Miss Weasley, step out now. Same for you Miss Granger," Snape ordered loudly. He gripped the tapestry and yanked it largely to widely reveal the two girls.

Hermione quickly reached for her bag while Ginny rushed to grab her own and then the girls swiftly stood a good distance away from the alcove in the empty corridor.

Snape glanced discretely to Granger's face.

Her tear stained and blotchy face irked him. What if the girl had confided with the youngest Weasley without his permission? He would not be able to control their secret if she chose the wrong person.

Both the girls stood silently but only one looked at their professor. Granger was successfully avoiding his eyes at all times.

Snape thought the girl must have suspected he entered her mind before. Luckily Miss Weasley's mind read like an open book.

"Twenty points each for loitering and a further ten on behalf of your other professors to which whom you will be entering their lectures late and disrespectfully; affecting their structured timetables."

"Leave now before I decide to serve a week's detention," Snape snapped.

Both girls rushed past him either side.

He turned to observe Weasley quickly whisper to Granger until the girls both turned down the long corridor; leaving his sight.

"Bugger," Ginny muttered.

"Snape's always catching me. Hey, you ok?" Ginny asked after turning towards Hermione as they fast paced up to the fourth floor.

Hermione looked pale; appearing in more of a fragile state than she had when she was crying on Ginny's shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"Snape."

Hermione whispered swallowing a dry gulp.

"Do you think he heard us?"

"What, crying? Snape's probably thrives on the sound of us crying. Don't worry about it. At least we only lost points. We'll gain them back by the end of today's lessons anyway. I couldn't be doing with detention with quidditch practice too this week."

Hermione skittishly glanced over her shoulder while Ginny spoke.

Even though they had walked a far distance she still panicked imagining she would glimpse Snape knowingly shake his head from some shadowed corner. Knowing exactly why she had been crying.

But after several glances Hermione convinced herself they were not being followed.

* * *

"Severus," Minerva sat up; leaving a group conversation as soon as Snape entered the bustling coffee filled staff room.

"Is he well?" Minerva quietly asked, walking him to the closest corner of the room.

"Mildly."

Minerva released a sigh. She had known Albus was being treated last night but not enough details to truly know all the consequences.

"Have you seen him? Is Poppy with him now?"

Snape's eyes scanned the room to make sure the other teaching staff were all involved in their own private discussions before continuing.

"He's still sleeping. This morning I personally performed a diagnostic spell. The outcome will keep me until this afternoon where I will then repeat the process. At the present, Poppy is with him now. He's sleeping in his personal quarters."

Minerva rested a hand across her chest to steady her nerves.

"Thank you Severus. And thank you for personally coming by to let me know."

"Providing you with news was not my reason for visiting Minerva."

Snape abruptly walked away leaving Minerva standing alone as he approached the drink trolley. Wandlessly pouring himself a large black coffee, bypassing the plates of various cakes.

Snape turned around to take his usual leathered armchair with only a rickety side table for company.

Minerva quickly took her seat back in beside Rolanda and Pomona. Left reassured by Snape's update on Albus; Minerva became easily involved with the conversation she had abandoned minutes before.

* * *

Already on the last page of the Daily Prophet; Snape's reason for sitting in the staffroom was apparent.

"- and then we have Miss Granger and Mr McLaggen. I've only just overheard they'll be an official item by the end of the week."

_Granger._

Snape stared at the same word on the page as he discretely listened.

Remembering the sight of Granger and McLaggen in the corridor last night, supposing it was a positive sign Granger was being sociable but Snape didn't like how out of character the brash behaviour was for the rule abiding prefect.

He could be currently preparing for his first class instead sat with within earshot listening to his gossiping colleagues all filling their time while the students outside rushed to organise themselves.

"I bet it ends in tears," Rolanda nodded to herself.

"Minerva, you always do say two Gryffindors make the happiest couples." Pomona ignored Rolanda and sat further forward to ask Minerva. "- for example; we have Oliver and Emily, Arthur and Molly, Samuel and Maia. And of course James and Lilly," Pomona continued.

Snape's thumbs ripped both pages of his book after hearing that name.

He rarely heard that name out loud but in his mind he heard it everyday, every hour.

"No. I think Miss Granger would be better suited to a Ravenclaw," Rolanda announced. "Due to her sharp mind. No matter how handsome or charming - Granger will need someone to challenge her. And for one McLaggen requires a trophy by his side not one who will read books..."

Minerva smiled as she took a sip of her drink.

"Don't be so old fashioned. Minerva what do you say? Want to place a bet?" Pomona spoke over Rolanda still noisily predicting Hermione and McLaggen's future.

"McLaggen is also a high academic achiever," Minerva told them. She dipped a biscuit in her tea; literally feeling Pomona wait on her very words.

"And as long as he's not thinking of other girls or quidditch all the time I think they'll make a lovely couple. And no Pomona, I will not make a bet on young love."

"It will still end in tears," Rolanda repeated.

Snape downed the contents of his cup. The hot liquid burning his throat. A precious hour wasted.

He stood and made his leave before the rest of the faculty all begin to leave before teaching their first lesson of the day.

* * *

Alone and walking through the empty corridor Snape kept hearing Pomona's cheerful voice repeating 'Lilly' over and over again.

He felt conflicted and comforted at the same time hearing the name mentioned as if nothing had ever happened but then extremely jealous at the same time that it wasn't him who had spoken it.

A flash of red hair caught his attention far in front.

Was his mind playing tricks? Was he hallucinating again? Had missed meals and late nights caught up with him, again?

_Ginny Weasley. _

The red headed girl reappeared again from the side of a floor length tapestry.

The girl halted, surprised when she met his eyes.

Snape's heart felt stabbed by the false mirage. He picked up his pace to approach the girl.

He swung the curtain to the side and revealed Weasley entirely along with Granger.

In seconds speaking and listening to Weasley, Snape observed Granger had been crying.

His mind switched from Lilly to Granger, hating the girl for distracting his thoughts.

Finding he couldn't connect with Granger. Snape entered Weasley's mind as he stood waiting for her to answer. Concerned Granger may have confessed their secret he decided to take no risks.

Luckily Weasley's mind, whirling through the excuses to reply, clearly revealed her underlined thought displaying McLaggen as the source of Granger's tears.

Snape broke contact. He didn't care to listen to Weasley's excuses.

Both girls rushed for their bags. Snape stood and watched them leave for their classes.

After they turned the corner and disappeared, Snape still stood in the empty corridor. Struggling to replace the image of Granger for a precious one of Lilly smiling; instead Granger's scared face consumed his thoughts completely.

* * *

Hermione sat with a heavy pit in her stomach throughout all her morning classes.

_I was so close to telling Ginny. What if he knew how close I was?_

She entered the Great Hall for lunch, smiling and waving over at Harry and Ron.

Ginny waved a couple of seats down for Hermione to come over once she sat beside Ron. But not risking talking with Ginny again, she was too close to revealing her tainted summer experience before.

Most likely she only had hours left before Snape potentially actioned his threat.

_But then what if he comes across me in the corridor before class? Or send a note to excuse me from an early lesson and take me away?_

Hermione felt paralysed with fear.

Managing to falsely smil as Harry and Ron chatted. The boys kept looking up but not for long as the graffitied potion book kept distracting them. They didn't ask why Hermione sat with clenched fists, unblinkingly staring up at the top table.

Luckily Snape didn't seem to be attending his meals still which meant lunch continued with no sight of her Dark Arts professor.

During the next class of double potions; Hermione counted the hours, minutes and seconds dreading the next class. To make matters worse Harry excelled once more over her in potions along with her hair became an unruly mess.

* * *

"All you had to do was keep your mouth closed." Snape's oily voice told her from behind.

Hermione held her breath.

Her wand fell with clatter.

She had been waiting for Snape to corner her. And now he actually was twenty minutes into the lesson. In front of the entire class!

"Miss Brown! This is your final warning. Just keep your mouth closed. I can still see your lips moving even through your hair. Ten points!"

Hermione glanced over her shoulder to see Snape looming over Lavender.

For a moment Hermione really thought this was it.

She turned away making her the only student not watching Lavender being tested to cast a spell keeping her mouth shut.

By the end of class Hermione fumbled to pack away her books. Clumsily her hands moved slow and awkwardly making the simple task of clearing away take even longer. It was like fate wanted her to be last in class.

_This is stupid. How can I continue being this nervous all the time?_

"Bye Hermione," Neville passed her.

Hermione scooped her quill and parchment and stuffed them messily into her bag.

She rushed after Neville to luckily spot before the door swung closed; Harry and Ron standing outside the door waiting for her.

She nervously looked over at Snape who was currently turned with his back to the door concentrating on writing instructions on the board. Not showing any acknowledgment he knew she was even there.

_Until._

"Miss Granger, monitor whom you are spending your time with. Next time I catch you both, I can assure you, you will both be equally punished."

Hermione froze.

She watched Snape continue to write on the board with no sign he had even spoken out loud. In seconds she picked up her bag and rushed from the classroom door. Literally bumping into Ron as she ran out of the door way.

* * *

"Hello."

Snape clenched his jaw.

He wasn't in the mood to hear that voice.

He had come to visit Albus again after a day of lessons; regretting his choice immediately after walking in and finding Nymphadora sitting watch as the headmaster slept.

"He's still asleep," Tonks told Snape.

She looked back down at her hand holding Dumbledore's healthy hand.

Snape walked towards the bed. He placed the back of his hand on Albus' forehead then checked a pulse under the left ear.

"All good?"

"I suppose." Snape answered her. But a true understatement; the headmaster had actually taken to the complicated potion very well but still, he had at least five more days of rest before Snape could be certain. And there was still the concern the old man could wake in excoriating pain.

Tonks stood up. She traced her hand along the bed frame until she reached Snape's hand.

"I've missed our...little hobby," she whispered closely into his ear.

Snape reluctantly enjoyed the touch and the closeness of her breath.

He had been trying to think of his Lilly instead of annoyingly thinking of Granger's forlorn face all day. Maybe this witch would settle his mind and correct its path. With this hope he allowed the to continue.

"Have you missed it too?" She asked, daring to place a kiss on his neck.

All too aware they were sharing a room with a sleeping Albus. Doing nothing for Snape's intentions he snatched Tonks' wrist and pulled her towards the door.

"I can't," Tonks rushed to explain.

Snape felt this sudden rush of guilt overcome him. Bile rose in his throat. Granger's face returned.

"I'm working," Tonks waved her free hand back towards Dumbledore.

Snape, feeling incredibly rejected and needy; roughly threw her arm back and continued to walk out of the headmaster's quarters, alone.

He planned to shower and rid him of this unclean guilty sheen he suddenly felt drenched in.

Granger's scared, upset face attacked his thoughts like a migraine. Causing the half tent in his trousers, along with Nymphadora's rejection; all making his urge quickly fade.

* * *

Even in their private common room, Hermione sat as far away as possible from Ginny. She didn't want to provide Snape the reason to punish both her and Ginny like his threat earlier in class implied. Or was his threat for her and McLaggen? Either way she didn't want to risk it.

Ginny noticed Hermione sat in a corner reading with Crooks curled up on her lap while Harry and Ron played chess quite a little distance away. But before Ginny could walk over to ask how Hermione was feeling; Dean came out of nowhere, distracting her.

* * *

Late in the evening Snape patrolled the castle. He assigned four detentions and collected seventy points from Hufflepuff and Gryffindor each during his hour long circuit.

Walking back to the dungeons he caught Draco sneaking out of the common room.

They both stood silently staring at each other until Snape took a step closer.

"Draco, I do not want to follow you but I will if you do not -"

Snape was pushed to the side after Draco rudely walked away.

Compelled to follow the boy but Snape did not. He watched the boy leave hearing footsteps echo down from the dungeon stairs.

All the many potions in the final crucial stage required his attention far more than Draco. The complex mixtures currently brewing in his private lab overpowered Snape's responsibility. He couldn't help but choose not to follow the troubled boy.

* * *

Tonks tried making it up to Snape later that night. She entered the potion classroom after her shift guarding Albus sleeping was passed on to Dawlish.

Tonks stood waiting in the nostalgic classroom. Thinking back fondly to her school years; wondering if Snape ever thought of her sexually when he was her professor.

Tonks loved the rush of being mounted by her past professor over the teacher's desk she now stood before. It was at least four months since their affair started and already she had experienced far more than she had in all her active years before.

She jumped to sit on the desk and dangled her feet. Knowing Snape with all his wards would be aware of her visit. He wouldn't be too far from his potions, she mused. All she had to do was wait.

Maybe if Snape took her on the desk again it would make her forget the longing for Remus. Maybe if he took her from behind she could even pretend it was Remus.

Just then Tonks felt Snape's magic drape a locking and silencing charm over the room.

"Remove yourself from the desk."

Tonks smirked hearing his deep voice order closely from behind.

"Or else?"

"_Or else _your front won't be pressed against it. With your arse sat down the whole process of fucking you will be rather difficult."

Tonks spun herself round to face him.

"No games Nymphadora." Snape told her. "I have a limited amount of time this evening and will cut this activity extremely short if you misbehave."

"Hello to you too," she grinned. But he didn't return it with his usual smirk.

"Sorry about earlier but I promised you and Albus I would keep guard," Tonks spoke thinking Snape was in a sour mood because of earlier. She really wanted him tonight and hated to think if he decided to change his mind.

"You know the rules," Snape stood himself in between her dangling legs.

"No talking," Tonks breathlessly told him. He was already nipping and kissing down her neck, holding her just above her hips pulling her closer onto his groin.

Tonks jacket was pulled off, followed by her jumper and vest top until she sat in her bra, trousers and boots.

Her collarbone and chest was attacked by Snape's lips.

Tonks sighed in his arms. She tried not to touch him but her hands still twitched to feel him.

Snape pushed her left shoulder back and desperately pulled her bra down and grasped a breast to suckle.

He pressed himself up hard to touch her clothed entrance with his groin but still his cock wasn't as willing as his mind.

Biting and nibbling her taut nipple he still wasn't feeling any satisfaction.

Snape grabbed one of her wrists and pulled her to touch him intimately. Hoping she could wake his arousal.

Tonks used to his length, was surprised to feel only half. She unbuttoned his trousers but before she could rub him skin on skin her head was roughly pushed down.

Taking the hint she pulled him out and tentatively licked his weak member.

Snape groaned. Normally he was pulsing to enter a witch by now but the stubborn images of Granger were still blocking all thoughts.

The girl's watery eyes, nervous glances and even the fire in her eyes when she yelled at him during the first night at school; all left him feeling like a monster.

Tonks chin was clutched and pulled to look up. She met his black eyes. She would do anything he would ask as long as he didn't tell her to leave.

"Touch yourself."

Tonks sat up straight. She obeyed knowing the rewards she normally reaped when she followed his orders.

Moving back on the desk she opened her legs wider and snuck her right hand under her trouser waistline and into her knickers.

Her hand touched herself for a few seconds until it was yanked out by her elbow.

"Just get out."

Snape still gripping her elbow moved her from the desk.

"Is something wrong?"

Snape ignored her and gave the witch back her scattered clothes.

"Is it me?"

Tonks quickly pulled on her clothes while Snape pulled her to the door still clutching her by the elbow.

She pulled from his grip and stopped walking. She wasn't going to leave until he spoke about what had just happened. Tonight was meant to be her escape from thinking constantly of Remus, just for one night.

"No." He answered.

"Is it age?"

Snape's eyes darkened.

"Not age then. Are you tired?"

"I seriously despise listening to your irrupting voice," he groaned deeply and rubbed a hand over his tired eyes.

"Well you wouldn't have to listen to me if you just did what I came here to do."

Snape summoned the door to open.

"Out."

"How long do you think this will last?" Tonks asked still refusing to move.

"_Out,_" Snape repeated.

Tonks rolled her eyes. During sex she obeyed him, actually sometimes through fear but when it was like this, just talking she found his blunt behaviour amusing.

"Fine but if I hear you visiting any whores before you see me then you'll pay Severus," Tonks playfully trailed her hand down the line of his buttoned front.

Snape grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her close to talk low.

"Once I am feeling better, Nymphadora, rest assured you will be my first point of call."

And with that Tonks left with a smile on her face.

* * *

The next day teaching a 7th year class; Snape snapped and shouted giving McLaggen a week's detention. He had overheard the boy boasting of his relationship with Granger. The boy's confessions created a circle of other boys; all eagerly listening.

If the girl didn't take his advice; to spend less time with the horned up teen then Snape would give them both a months worth of detentions if he found them once again kissing in the corridor. And from what he overheard, the new couple had greatly moved on from just pecking.

* * *

The rest of the week past with no 'Snape' threats or attacks. Maybe his warning at the end of class was all he felt was required. And Hermione took it. She purposely spent less time with Ginny this week and avoided McLaggen. _Maybe Snape had noticed._

She didn't use the potion lab in her spare time either just on the off chance Snape might appear from nowhere, _again_. Instead Hermione just bit her tongue every time Harry brewed better quality potions; accepting her lower mark without the chance to improve her own.

The majority of the time Hermione felt panicky waiting for Snape to make his move. Punish her for nearly speaking to Ginny or being caught with McLaggen. But then there were these flashes of anger, only for a few moments where all she wanted to do was slap Snape across the face and demand for an apology.

Hermione entered the Great Hall for every meal nervous Snape would be sat at the top table. With her unable to eat much of her dinner through nerves; Hermione made Ron happy with all his second helpings.

All her prefect patrols finished with her waiting holding her breath until she spotted Filch hobble in to collect her and Marcus every evening.

* * *

The second Dark Arts class of the week involved Snape keeping his distance at the front; choosing to lecture the class instead of overseeing any practical spell work. During, Hermione sat clenching her fists into tight balls, her short nails digging into her palm. Chewing the inside of cheeks to control the temptation to raise her hand and answer all the questions. But the thought of Snape even looking at her let alone talking to her; turned her stomach.

Just before the end of the lesson; Hermione went against her usual well behaved etiquette and packed her books slowly as Snape continued his lecture.

When the students were ordered to leave after the school bell, Hermione only had to stand and grab her already packed bag.

She stood in the corridor and for a first she waited for Harry and Ron to meet her.

There was no way she was allowing Snape to talk to her alone. She was mixed between her usual nerves and this building anger. Not trusting which emotion would take control if they were left alone.

* * *

"Albus," Poppy ran to his side.

Snape stood and waited for Dumbledore to try and speak again.

For the past three days the headmaster had slept but since yesterday morning he woke but stared silently up to the ceiling.

Seconds past as Poppy and Snape waited for another attempt of speech.

"Just take your time Albus," Poppy soothed. She gripped his healthy hand and positively he held her tightly back.

Snape looked into the blue eyes meeting his. He took a step closer and leaned in to Albus.

"Severus," his title sounded throaty and strained coming from Dumbledore.

"The potion has worked Albus, are you in any pain?" Snape asked.

"No," the headmaster's voice sounding much clearer.

"I'm not surprised with all the potions Severus has been pumping into you, all hours day and night," Poppy proudly patted Dumbledore's hand.

Snape stood back to frown at the nurse.

He did not need Albus knowing he had spent more time than he could afford ensuring the headmaster wasn't in any pain. He could hear Albus now; telling him to stop fretting and return to his dark work instead of pampering to his well-being.

"Wait. No. you are not ready Albus," Poppy rushed to press Dumbledore back into his bed as he weakly tried to sit up.

"Severus, help. Tell him he's not well enough yet."

Snape heavily pushed Albus flat on the bed; old hands lightly gripping his wrists.

"Harry."

"What?" Snape asked leaning over keeping Albus locked down.

"I need to see him."

"You can't." Snape answered abruptly.

"Severus. He is the reason I ordered you to make the potion. Harry needs to be taught."

"You are not teaching _Potter_. Your nerves will rip if you even try to stand. If you want the damned potion to be in vain for only a measly hour lesson with Potter then I'll call him up now. But if you follow the course, I swear you will have months to fill teaching the pompous brat."

"Severus!" Poppy scolded him for talking out of turn.

Snape stood and folded his arms tightly. His bitterness towards another damn Potter was affecting his manner.

"Very well. I will see Harry as soon as I can stand. When do you think that will be Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"Monday," Snape bluntly answered.

* * *

"I've got another lesson with Dumbledore this Monday," Harry told Hermione and Ron during Friday's breakfast.

Finally word from their absence headmaster had reached Harry this morning.

"Does he say what it will be about?" Hermione asked.

"No but let's hope I learn something more than last time," Harry folded Dumbledore's invite tightly and tucked it away in his robe.

"Plus I want to speak to him more about Malfoy," Harry looked over his shoulder to where Malfoy was eating his own breakfast. Draco looked innocent enough but Harry narrowed his eyes and watched the blonde boy chew some toast whilst Pansy chatted away to him.

Hermione refused to interrupt. There was no talking Harry out from accusing Malfoy. Even Ron secretly agreed with her that Harry was becoming slightly obsessed.

"Suppose I'll be left alone again then," Ron muttered watching porridge drip from his spoon.

"I'll be around after my patrol," Hermione offered, looking from Harry to turn and speak to Ron.

"Again - always busy walking around some other boy," Ron muttered.

"_What_? Marcus? You don't like me patrolling with Marcus now?"

Hermione noticed Harry turn in his seat and quickly make conversation with Seamus beside him, ignoring her and Ron's boiling conversation.

"You're always patrolling or studying. And if you're not then your attending the _'Slug' _parties."

"_Well_, maybe if you weren't always training on your broom maybe we could study and share patrols. All you have to do is request to patrol in the evenings!"

Hermione gulped down some orange juice, simply for something to do before she said something she would regret. Like mentioning something she wasn't even sure of yet about their relationship.

Was she even ready mentally for a boyfriend? _No_.

"I'm sorry," Ron nudged her knee under the table but still looked down into his bowl of porridge.

"I'm sorry too," Hermione knocked her knee into his.

* * *

"Hello stranger."

Hermione quickly turned to her left as she walked to her next lesson.

McLaggen gave her a wide grin.

"Hello."

"Is that all I get? No hug, _kiss_?"

"What?" Hermione pulled the pile of books in her arms tighter to her chest as if to protect herself from his leering.

"Cause we're going out?"

He dropped his arm over her shoulder but Hermione stopped walking and turned to face him; harshly shrugging his arm away.

"We most certainly are not! When did I ever say we were?!"

A few passing students looked over at them but Hermione's loud voice carried on.

"Have you been telling people we are?"

"Hey calm down Granger. If you want to break up just say," McLaggen smirked at her.

"We're not even together!" Hermione stamped her foot at his cocky behaviour.

"So you do want to be together? Want to go on a date then?"

_"No!"_

Hermione started walking away but so did McLaggen. She kept giving him obvious glances to go away and walking in a zig-zag direction but he always managed to stay by her side.

Then when she passed the girl's toilets Hermione took her chance and left him out in the corridor.

"Hey you ok?"

Ginny looked over to Hermione who had just rushed in panting with her back leant on the closed toilet door.

Hermione looked up to see just Ginny standing alone in front of the mirrors trying to conceal some marks on her neck.

"Did you know McLaggen thinks I'm his girlfriend?"

"You are though right? Dean told me it was a secret?"

"No! Why does he think that?!"

"Because you were caught by Snape snogging in the corridor Saturday. You didn't tell me about that part did you?" Ginny raised an eyebrow smiling at Hermione who glared at her in the reflection.

"I told you the truth, that he groped me! We didn't even kiss. He's lying! And now everyone probably thinks I'm a slut!"

Ginny scoffed but quickly forced her smirk into a worried expression when Hermione burst into tears. Ginny rushed over to pull her into a hug.

"Does Ron know?" Hermione cried into Ginny's shoulder.

"No. I don't think so." Ginny answered not at all surprised by Hermione's concern. The pair of them was perfect for each other but both too naive to say anything.

"Boys are so stupid!" Hermione pushed away from Ginny, "and annoying!"

Ginny nodded. She watched Hermione try and smooth her curly hair and wipe her face but she still had red cheeks and a pink nose.

"Have you been avoiding me?" Ginny asked.

"No." Hermione rushed her reply. "Why?"

"Just, feels like you have." Ginny shrugged.

Hermione felt like crying again. Nothing she did seemed right at the minute. Purposely avoiding Ginny this week in case Snape caught them and assuming she had shared their secret only made Ginny think there was something wrong.

"Sorry if I have."

"Still worrying about your NEWTs?"

"Yes."

"The ones you'll pass no problem?"

Hermione nodded smiling then linked her arm in Ginny's to walk out.

As the bathroom door opened Snape walked past.

His black eyes scanned the two girls walking out. He paused for a moment, standing still causing the crowd of students walking behind him halt.

"Come on," Ginny pulled Hermione to walk, unaware by her friend's silent interaction with their professor.

Hermione was pulled by Ginny to walk away. She looked over her shoulder to find Snape standing still, watching her walk away.

* * *

"I'm not hungry," Hermione answered Ron when he asked to have some of her untouched dinner.

Snape had caught her for the second time. He could easily assume she was talking about what happened during their summer again. Her reaction to McLaggen lying about their false relationship was amplified only by the damage Snape had caused.

_What would he even do? He said I would disappear before I had the chance to confess? Or ruin my reputation. What does that even mean? Kill or kidnap me?_

"Is everything ok?" Harry asked watching Ron happily swapped his empty plate for Hermione's.

"Yes fine," she answered but still kept her gaze on the empty seat up on the teachers' table.

Harry didn't question her any further. He just went straight back to reading an interesting tip in his potion book but only after looking over at Malfoy sat on his own table, just to make sure the teen Death Eater was still there.

* * *

Snape worked late down in his private lab finishing up the potion order ready to deliver to Malfoy Manor tomorrow night.

Becoming a regular occurrence in his private lab was Nymphadora's wolf patronus; currently curled up whining next to his feet.

Since their failed attempt the witch hadn't given up hope. Sending her patronus on the off chance Snape would decide he was in a better mood but enduring long uneventful days consisting of lessons with endless nights working in the lab; kept any lustful urges unrequited. Any free time was spent sat with Albus, providing the headmaster with daily summaries.

Minerva soon became a common fixture in the headmaster's quarters. Poppy was dismissed as soon as the deputy head heard Albus was awake and on the mend.

The only other member of staff Minerva couldn't manage the timing of their visits was Severus Snape. Whenever her blunt colleague visited, at all hours she was always asked to leave by Albus; no matter how many times she insisted he needed her to stay.

Snape bottled the last potion, once corked he placed it with the rest.

He dropped his head into his hands and tried to find a moment to think.

The first thought was Draco.

Snape was overly suspicious the boy was about to act and most likely make a fool of himself. All invites ordering the boy to visit Snape's office went ignored. Seriously reaching the point to barge into the Slytherin common room and drag the brat out to speak alone.

Snape threw a book down to shut Nymphadora's wolf from whining.

Unfortunately his sexual longing was left uncared. If Snape felt any twinge, even in the morning, it would quickly fade from feeling himself tainted as a sick abuser once again.

_Granger._

Maybe Granger's change of character in starting a relationship with McLaggen, allowing the boy to grope her in the corridor was all down to Snape's treatment of her. Perhaps if he hadn't abused her; the girl would still be nose deep in books.

His subtle warning after class to monitor whom she spent her time with was in hope the girl would distance herself from the older boy. But still Snape overheard the increasing gossip surrounding the new couple for the rest of the week along with overhearing the crude commentary from the McLaggen himself during class.

By the end of Thursdays' class Granger practically ran from his classroom.

Snape didn't glimpse Granger again until he caught her coming out of the girl's toilets crying today. No doubt McLaggen was involved by look on Miss Wesley's face. He still paused to test Weasley's mind if it was him, their professor of whom were discussing. He highly doubted Molly Weasley's offspring would allow him to walk away if that was the case.

Snape sat back in his chair he could hear Nymphadora's patronus pad over to his work desk. Maybe he should meet the witch. It had been a while.

Then like cold water thrown over him; Snape counted back and realised he hadn't slept with anyone since the summer.

_Granger._

Granger's face flashed back in his mind again. Mentally affected by what he had done. Of all the gruesome, cruel, harsh actions he had witnessed and done over the years were all controlled in his mind; sorted into mental boxes away from everyday thoughts.

But Granger, he seemed to experience this guilty reaction. Ever so slightly similar to the hidden restricting feelings he still felt held for Lilly.

The large wolf whined and literally raised a begging paw; breaking Snape's thought.

Snape waved his hand through the wolf's ghost image making it swirl and fade into thin air.

* * *

Hermione froze staring at the necklace that had just cursed Katie Bell.

Harry had ran for help and brought Hagrid to scoop Katie's screaming, writhing body to rush her back to the castle.

This trip to Hogsmeade was meant to be a respite and also a chance to leave the castle, a day out for students to relax, not witness a peer nearly close to death thrown around in the air. Plus a personal hope to leave the possibility of seeing Snape for at least three hours.

Hermione focused her eyes to watch Harry carefully collect the necklace in the brown paper it was once folded in.

He took his time, making sure he didn't directly touch the cursed item.

Hermione tried comforting Katie's friend; Leanne during the walk back following Hagrid's large footstep trial left in the snow.

But Hermione kept finding herself distracted and glancing over to the parcel in Harry's gloved hands.

_Was the necklace meant for me? Is this Snape's punishment?_

_Did Snape plan for me to be cursed instead of Katie? _

_Did he mistake Katie for me like he had before with Tonks? _

Hermione swallowed a dry gulp and dug her gloved hands dipper into her pockets.

Dreading what would happen when Snape noticed her walking back unharmed to Hogwarts instead of being the one carried in Hagrid's arms.

* * *

"Professor, can I see professor Dumbledore?" Harry asked.

Hermione and Ron stood on either side of Harry; all facing Professor McGonagall in her office.

The stressful seconds since reaching the castle gates involved Filch trying to security check them all. Until Professor McGonagall quickly sent Leanne to the hospital wing and ordered Filch off with the cursed necklace to take directly to Professor Snape. Leaving the three of them. Harry, Ron and Hermione to follow their head of house.

"The Headmaster is away, Potter," answered Professor McGonagall, looking a bit startled by Harry's request.

Albus was still resting only a floor above. He didn't need the drama of Harry Potter right now.

"Away?" Harry repeated angrily.

"Yes, Potter, away!" Professor McGonagall added tartly.

"But if you have anything to say to the Headmaster over what has happened regarding Miss Bell then you can say it in front of me, now."

Hermione could see Harry quickly turn to look at her then Ron before he continued.

"I think I know who gave Katie the necklace."

Hermione snapped her head to look at Harry waiting for him to continue, wondering if Harry thought the same as her; that Snape had planted the cursed necklace.

"I think it was Draco Malfoy."

Hermione awkwardly shuffled away from Harry after his confession. Glad Harry hadn't put two and two together and worked out her secret from a very far fetched thread but still his obsession with Draco being a Death Eater was becoming worse - embarrassing even.

* * *

Filch entered Snape's empty office. The cursed necklace wrapped in his hands.

Mrs Norris circled the room then jumped to sit on the desk.

"Argus?"

Filch turned quickly to face Snape appearing out of nowhere. Not even recalling the door opening or closing.

"Severus, there's been an attack, dark magic. Here, it's this that's caused it," Filch went to hand the parcel over but Snape walked past, wandlessly lifting the parcel to lay safely on his desk.

"Was anyone hurt?"

"Yes, Miss Bell. Potter and his little friends were there of course. He's with Minerva now. Need expelling all three of um, bloody brats."

The parcel opened itself to reveal a necklace. Snape recalled Bellatrix wearing the exact piece years before at Narcissa and Lucius' wedding.

_Draco. _

This must be his first attempt. And if Bellatrix was involved, the dark curse would be cruel and complex.

Snape didn't have time to break the curses' compounds down. He really needed to be away from the castle in no less than an hour to reach the apparition point.

Mrs Norris purred nudging her head into Snape's, purring louder when his long hand stroked her ear. She idly watched the paper fold the necklace back up and hover to fly into Snape's top draw.

"Thank you."

"But you not going to look at? We need to catch the bugger. What if there's another attack?" Filch asked.

Snape smiled as the cat rolling to one side for her stomach to be fussed.

"There will not be another. Not at least for today."

"How are you sure?"

"I just am."

"Snape. You're not up to your old tricks again are you?"

Snape looked up at Argus.

The caretaker had changed from asking for help to accusing him in minutes. Their civil conversation transformed into a terragation.

Snape felt bitter. Even after all these years he liked to believe he was marginally respected by his colleagues but as always they assumed his worst whenever something dark occurred.

"Maybe I should just take the necklace back," Filch stepped towards the desk.

"Leave."

Argus felt his cheek nervously twitch.

His waiting hand held out for the return of necklace was replaced by Mrs Norris rubbing into her owner's open palm.

Scooping the purring cat up in his arms; Argus hobbled out of the office leaving the intimidating professor alone.

* * *

Snape stood back from the dining table after neatly unpacking and lining up a row of vials; filled with various potions intended for torture and bribery.

The manor had always made Snape feel uncomfortable. The grandness of it as a teenager screamed to him he was out of place. Over the years he had learnt to act and copy Lucius mannerisms and behaviour but still after countless visits the manor still knew he didn't belong.

Snape silently observed his dark lord reach to pick up the smallest vial; Veritaserum, closely looking at the thick liquid sticking up the sides.

"Very good Severus," Voldemort spoke to the only other in the room.

"My Lord," Snape bowed his head.

Voldemort placed the small bottle neatly back in the line and went to reach for another before quickly changing his mind and flicked his hand to make the entire order disappear.

"Severus, I wish for you to triple this all by next month."

Snape uncontrollably raised his head with widen eyes questioning his master's near impossible request.

This last batch alone had taken him a month of late nights and missed meals to complete. To increase the quantity was absurd.

"Severus, you look concerned. Do we have a problem?" Voldemort slowly spoke whilst trying to enter his servant's mind.

"Not at all my lord," Snape spoke smoothing his reaction to the panic rising simultaneously holding up his occulemcy wall.

Voldemort stood up from his chair.

He walked half a circle around Snape then stopped directly behind him.

"I wouldn't want you to feel overworked Severus," Voldemort spoke closely to Snape's left ear gripping the taller man's shoulders.

"- because that is only reason I can grasp for why you are currently failing to provide proof for who was behind the attack earlier today."

"The necklace is in my office, My Lord. I'm in the process of diceting the magical content. Within a month I will know-"

Severus stopped talking when the hands on his shoulders moved to the sides of his head. His scalp was held by the long nailed hands of his master.

"You are my servant Severus. One who should already be aware of all the castle and surrounding secrets."

"Do let me know if you are finding your second role too much trouble. For perhaps the times has come for you to finally leave Hogwarts and work solely on potions and planning here, with me."

Snape fought the impulse to interrupt and talk himself out of the dire possibility.

"You really do try, do you not Severus?" Voldemort asked.

"My Lord."

Snape thought his vague and safe had answered but he stiffened his posture to the touch of a wand pressed into the nape of his neck.

"But trying just is not good enough, especially not from you, Severus."

_"Crucio!"_

Snape's knees cracked on the stone floor. He bit his tongue as his jaw followed hitting hard.

Tangled up in his travelling cloak; Snape's body jerked and fitted uncontrollably.

"What is the purpose of allowing you to stay with Dumbledore if you can't even report back basic facts?!"

Snape focused on keeping his mind functioning by counting his master's bare footsteps walking back to the top chair.

_3, 4, 5..._

_"Crucio!"_

Snape's body stretched and lifted off the floor to smack back down repeating the first attack.

A rib down his left side cracked.

During this second attack; Snape was unable to continue counting and forced himself to focus on the chair leg in front.

Blood poured from his mouth from his bitten tongue; mixing with drools of spit.

Keeping his mind focused on the chair allowed him to keep his occulemcy wall up and control to keep his screams silenced.

There was scratching of wood on stone as a chair was pulled out.

Snape blinked watching the top chair disappear under his master's cloak as he took his seat.

"Triple and deliver the order in no less than a week," Voldemort ordered once again with a darker tone as he shortened the deadline even less.

"And source information I can actually use. Prove your purpose."

"As well as the potions I want to learn exactly what Albus is teaching Potter during these lessons. _Something you and I should already be aware of!_"

Snape heard his master drum his long finger nails on the desk above.

"If you fail to report back, Severus..."

Voldemort stopped tapping and tried to listen to his servant struggling on the floor in near silence.

"- Without hesitation, your position at the school will end."

Voldemort strained to hear a change in Severus' breathing for a reaction after his threat.

But Snape had held his breath trying to listen over his thundering heart beat.

_"Crucio!"_

Snape's vocal cords produced a guttural scream from the third curse. His head smacked and blacked out his vision and mind.

Hours later Snape caught the scent of a women's rich perfume as someone lifted his head from the floor just in time for another aftermath compulsion consumed him.

Snape knew Narcissa was risking her life to care for him, but in his current state he required her to be there.

**Author's note: **_Please review!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors note:** _thanks again for all the detailed reviews. Think they given me the power to write this chapter so quick! Keep them coming!_

_Plus this chapter is starting to build the main plot now so would love to know your predictions of what you think so far._

Tonks warmed her hands over the hovering ball of fire she cast stood waiting outside Friday night.

Just at the apparition point on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, Tonks had been waiting for two hours now for Snape to return.

Normally Snape appeared from past meetings bad tempered, completely ignoring her concerns. Usually he developed a limp in his walk or a cut to his face. Whatever the injury; Snape repeatedly clearly stated he did not require anyone's assistance. And by the follow day Snape always appeared fixed and healed.

So standing there waiting on Dumbledore's orders; Tonks didn't move at first when a lump of person suddenly appeared, lying face down on the forest floor.

* * *

Sunday morning, Hermione sat in the Great Hall listening to the sound of the entire hall muttering about Katie Bell. Since yesterday afternoon the number one conversation topic was Katie, Death Eaters or Hogsmeade.

After Professor McGonagall dismissed the three of them; Hermione, Ron and Harry followed their Head of House's orders and went straight for Gryffindor common room.

Harry tried speaking to Hermione and Ron about his thoughts; blaming Malfoy but it wasn't long before Harry took the hints from his two friends that they weren't interested discussing his theories.

Harry decided he needed to be alone in his dorm. Leaving Hermione and Ron to spend their evening telling every other Gryffindor repeatedly what had really happened, rather than allow the wild false speculations from spreading.

Dinner was still served Saturday evening even despite the attack. Every student whispered, looking over at Katie's empty seat. The one Katie should have been filling instead of lying in a hospital bed in St. Mungo's.

Hermione couldn't help but continue to watch the teacher's table over the top of Ron's shoulder. Sometimes she would smile and luckily nod correctly to Ron's questions, she guessed he was talking about the first quidditch match of the new term, next weekend.

Even though Snape hadn't attended any meals since the Welcome Feast, something about today felt like he might attend.

_Maybe I'm ready to face him. Maybe if he walks through the great doors, take his seat, I'll be able to look him in the eyes. _

Because after observing every student pity Katie's vacant seat, it made Hermione truly glad she was still sat in hers.

* * *

Harry was relieved by Ron and Hermione unintentionally ignoring him during breakfast. He kept his head down reading the Prince's book, still allowing time to glimpse over at Malfoy; just to keep tabs on the assumed Death Eater.

Harry had read the interesting potion book from cover to cover and was now starting to return to his favoured marked chapters.

The majority of the unheard spells learnt went uncast but the handy ones of _'Muffliato'_ and '_Langlock_' were becoming really useful, even if Hermione refused to stand with him whenever he cast one.

* * *

"You must know what happened, you were right there?" Marcus asked Hermione.

They were starting their Sunday evening patrol and Marcus' multiple questions were already bubbling energetically to be answered by Hermione.

"I told you what happened. That's all I know."

"But I heard there was a Death Eater. And the Dark Mark was in the sky?"

"No that didn't happen. All I witnessed was Katie whirling in the sky then she dropped to the floor."

"All because of a necklace?"

"A cursed necklace," Hermione clarified.

They both turned to walk down another corridor then stopped talking when they spotted someone banging on a closed door.

"Do you think it's a 7th year?" Marcus whispered.

"Maybe, they look tall enough," Hermione answered.

They both walked closer to approach the student, the loud thumps on the door becoming louder.

"Horace! Open up!" Tonks yelled at the sealed door.

Marcus gave Hermione a confused look after he realised the student was much older than he had thought. He stopped while Hermione continued. Marcus logically thought; if an Auror was in the castle then there was must be something dangerous not far behind.

Hermione soon realised her few steps were taken alone. She looked over her shoulder to spot Marcus peaking from a behind a statue of amour. His poor hiding place looked more tempting than confronting Tonks in the open corridor so Hermione quickly traced her steps back and joined Marcus in the shadows.

"Horace, I know you're in there! I can hear the bottles hitting the charms you cast! Open the door and let me take them."

Tonks stopped hitting her fist on the door. In the silence, Hermione could just about hear the sound of glass bottles repeatedly tapping from inside the closed door trying to escape.

"Snape knows they're in there," Tonks continued.

As if '_Snape_' was the password the closed door creaked open.

"Why, good evening, pleasant surprise Tonks. How are you?" Professor Slughorn's cheerful voice travelled through the corridor.

"I'm fine. Haven't you heard me knocking? I've wasted time I can't afford. And on top of that Snape isn't happy!"

Horace chuckled. "My dear, that boy is hard to please at the best of times. I wouldn't allow his moods to ruin your evening -"

"**Now stop there!** What do you think you are doing barging into my personal quarters, young lady?! Get out immediately!"

Hermione overheard Slughorn's voice become uncharacteristically louder after the sound of ruffled cloaks from Tonks pushing by their professor.

Hermione strained to look round the armour.

The two adults had stepped further into the Slughorn's rooms but luckily the door was open enough for Hermione to listen.

"I'm taking these," Tonks spoke quickly scooping up the two potion vials from the floor.

"That is my personal property. Return them!"

"Horace, these are Snape's. You should be more worried that he knows you have stolen from his personal store plus the burden that you might have halted him helping to heal poor Katie. Snape should have drunk these both last night but now his whole healing process has been delayed. Shame on you!" Tonks walked out of the room with the bottles clinking.

"Now, now. Listen here, Severus left those in the potions lab when he passed the classroom over to me. I simply presumed they were thoughtful gifts, especially at my age with all my aches and pains. He's always respected me so highly. But now you can tell him I'm disappointed in his behaviour," Horace stepped out into the corridor.

"Tell him yourself!"

Hermione peered round and caught sight of Slughorn standing in his causal robe holding a large glass of Firewhiskey while Tonks ran away in the opposite direction.

* * *

Crooks meowed as his owner threw her duvet over to one side; completely covering the grumpy feline in fabric.

Hermione reached from her packed school bag; ready for the start of Tomorrow's lesson, for a sheet of blank parchment and inked a quill.

As her room mates slept; Hermione laid awake until she decided the only way to make sense of her muddled thoughts was to write them all down.

Sat on the corner of her bed, Hermione began writing all the distracting thoughts regarding Professor Snape.

_1. He needs to be punished_

_2. He needs to stop blackmailing me with either curses, kidnapping or potentially death_

_3. Still no apology_

_4. He may have tried to curse me_

_5. He's trying to help heal Katie (most likely he's just reversing another error.)_

_6. Is he still a Death Eater?_

Hermione read the list over then concealed it with a non-verbal unreadable charm. Placing the list in the inside pocket of her school bag, Hermione then made her way back into bed.

Crooks jumped back onto his owner's bed after hearing her light sleeping breathing. Snuggled into her arms; he began purring until he too fell deeply into his exploring animal dreams.

* * *

Up and awake, dressed before her entire house. Hermione stood early outside Snape's closed classroom.

She hadn't dared to actually knock. Attempted several times but just before her knuckles touched the surface of the door; she snatched her hand away.

This morning Hermione woke with a clear objective. After writing the list; Hermione knew what her next step was to take. She couldn't continue being scared Snape; she needed to stop thinking up ways he planned to punish her.

Hermione planned to ask Snape right now exactly what he planned to do if she told someone their secret. She needed to protect her friends if she couldn't help but tell them. At least then her overactive imagination could cope with realistic consequences.

Fuelled by confidence, Hermione raised her hand to knock once more.

The door started to open.

"Out!" Snape ordered.

In one quick pull Snape appeared opening the door pushing Tonks to walk out, all while Hermione stood with her hand still raised in motion.

"Hermione!" Tonks greeted loudly.

Tonks' face was grimaced pretending she was glad to see Hermione. Hiding the fact she had just been rejected from attempting to snog Snape before he opened the door. The shock of being caught by Hermione would be humiliating.

"Tonks," Hermione returned the odd greeting, snapping her outstretched arm to her side.

The three of them stood awkwardly in silence.

_Until._

"Granger, what do you want?" Snape snapped.

Snape discreetly gripped the back of Tonks' jacket keeping her there.

Presuming Granger was outside his classroom this early hour hoping for a confrontation. Now was not the right time, his body was still in the early stages of healing from the three attacks Friday night.

Snape assumed if there was an audience, in this case Nymphadora, he highly doubted the Granger would reveal their secret so openly.

Hermione met his black eyes.

Before she had been nervous, scared he would read her thoughts but now she wanted Snape to know exactly what she was going through.

"I just wanted to check something in my essay, sir."

"It's not even seven o'clock yet Hermione," Tonks interrupted. "This is your professor's personal time."

Tonks, hoping for brownie points thought perhaps Snape would pull her back in by her coat he was currently clutching and take her on the nearest desk. Even with his nervous system still healing; she knew he could still perform. Ignoring the niggling fact that she spent the past two nights with Snape annoyingly, dismissing all her advances.

"Well it's important," Hermione replied tartly. She was becoming more impatient with Tonks standing in-between her and Snape's soon to be discussion.

Snape silently connected with the girl's mind. Clear, confident visions of Granger demanding an apology, explanations and reasons rushed through his own mind.

Granger's wide eyes dared him to continue. Baiting for him to challenge the fire she was reserving for his company only.

"Granger. I will speak to you after class."

Tonks was pulled backwards, back into the classroom.

The door slammed shut leaving Hermione quickly fast marching away.

* * *

"Not again," Hermione muttered to herself when another one of her quill nips snapped.

During her Charms class later that morning she was becoming increasingly agitated; her aggression was starting to take it out on her stationery.

It had been three hours since the short meeting with Snape this morning. Since then Hermione's confidence was building to the point she was wishing her other lessons would finish sooner.

* * *

During lunch, Hermione went through her mental list of what she wanted to cover with Snape after class.

Pleased with herself for being assertive she ignored the creeping nervous dread of facing Snape alone.

* * *

"Whoa! Hermione be careful!" Harry rushed to grab the stirring rod out from her clenched fist. She was stirring that hard and fast her potion was splashing over the sides.

Hermione stood back allowing Harry to quickly clean up the spilt mess.

Her empty hand continued to clench under her sleeve, her veins bubbling with adrenaline ready for the next class.

* * *

"Quickly, you'll make me late!" Hermione bossed Harry and Ron to walk faster through the bustling corridors.

"See, I told you we would be the first ones," Ron huffed folding his arms. Ron dropped his bag to the floor and leaned his back against the stone wall.

Hermione turned importantly with her back on Ron and Harry to form and start the line ready to enter the Dark Arts classroom.

Purposely Hermione thought her position as first in line would show Snape just how certain and adamant she wanted to talk to him after class.

Ten minutes of chattering students joining the line the classroom door was silenced by the sound of classroom door unlatching and swinging swiftly open.

Hermione noticed Snape's eyes widen when he scanned the students and found her standing right at the front.

"Enter."

* * *

Snape reordered his entire schedule, changing his lessons plan to only involve practical work for today's lessons. He could not risk any students observing him for long periods of time. Lecturing for hours would guarantee the chance for students to witness a hidden tremor.

His nervous system was still healing from the Dark Lord's punishment. If the medication hadn't been in Horace's quarters when he summoned the vials then Snape would have been physically healed by this afternoon but now he had all evening to endure the crippling aftermath of the dark curse.

Plus, cravenly he was blaming the injuries for the nervous ache he admittedly felt for talking to Granger after class.

Snape knew it wouldn't be long before the girl would demanded to talk. Over the weeks since the incident, Snape now had options he thought he could use, tonight he planned to exploit the girl to consider at least one.

His morning class of first years squealed after he ordered them to perform biopsies on cursed Flobberworms, for the students to report what curses they believed the causes of the ugly creature's deaths.

Snape's afternoon class of third years passed mildly quieter as they all successfully overcame a Boggart. The adolescents were too distracted to notice Snape when he raised a clenched fist to his mouth and bit down hard. A short fit electrified every nerve as he maintained his posture standing tall at the back of the room.

However during his lunch hour, Snape wasn't able to drop his guard as he had hoped.

An hour lying down straight on the cold floor in his quarters was all he required to continue with the rest of his day. But the luxury of resting vanished when Dumbledore called through the Floo Network only a second after the last third year student filtered out.

Snape warded his classroom locked and turned to stride to the Headmaster's office, his journey annoyingly slower by his joints pulsing with pain causing him to steady his usual pace.

"Albus."

"Hello Severus," Dumbledore glanced up from feeding Phoenix a biscuit when Snape entered.

As predicted, Dumbledore was able to stand this morning, the curse in his hand, frozen from spreading for a period of time. But the urgency to pass his private conspiracies onto Harry was becoming more imperative.

"Take a seat," Dumbledore offered as he took a seat in his own chair.

Snape winced, clenching his jaw as he lowered himself into the chair. His knuckles strained white gripping the chair arms.

"I see you are standing, Albus," Snape spoke through gritted teeth.

"Ah yes and feeling very well might I add."

Snape felt his eyelids heavily close without control.

"I see the potion last night has interrupted your sleeping pattern, Severus."

Snape snapped his eyes open.

"I have word Miss Bell has taken to your prescribed healing draught remarkably well at St. Mungo's," Dumbledore told him.

A corner of Snape's mouth rose slightly at the good news.

"Anyway back to business. How was the meeting Friday, Severus?" Dumbledore continued ignoring Snape's obvious discomfort and ill health.

"Short. I suppose, but then again I wasn't conscious for most of it."

"Did Tom say anything relating to the Hogsmeade incident?"

"No. The Dark Lord is insulted he wasn't aware of it. I can only assume it was a hasty action performed poorly by Draco."

Dumbledore rested both elbows on the desk and linked his fingers to rest on his beard deep in thought.

"Do you know Draco was behind the attack for a fact, Severus? Have you found a way to persuade Draco to confide in you?"

Snape pulled his frock coat down sharply. "No. Draco still despises me. However in hindsight, if Draco had come to me for assistance; I would have advised him not to curse a piece of jewellery blatantly belonging to his Aunt."

"I see. Is Tom aware Draco failed?"

"No. For the time being the Dark Lord believes I am still dissecting the cursed necklace. Albus, I must raise my concern for the Dark Lord seems far more interested above all in Potter's private tuition."

"I see. Have you told Tom anything?" Dumbledore asked.

Snape watched irritated as Dumbledore stood and started to slowly pace up and down the length of the desk.

"How can I when even I'm not _responsible_ enough to know what you're teaching Potter!"

Dumbledore paused in his path. He rocked back on his feet with his hands held round his back. Over his moon shaped glasses he watched as Snape tried to control his anger.

"Well Severus. Tell Tom, I'm spending the lessons simply sharing all that I know with Harry. Facts and spells I believe will help Harry to choose his path correctly."

Snape watched as Dumbledore returned to his seat and began sorting through his paperwork.

_If Albus believes this little catch up is over; the old man is greatly mistaken. _

If Snape returned to the Dark Lord with Albus' vague and measly explanation then Snape might as well hand in his resignation this instance.

Snape spoke over the mundane sound of Albus writing. "Albus, the Dark Lord has threatened my teaching position. If I do not start disclosing more of what you and I discuss then the Dark Lord has made it clear. I will leave Hogwarts."

Dumbledore paused from writing.

"Also, the Dark Lord has ordered another order, tripled the previous batch by the end of this week. If I fail to meet with the potions, I can only warn you. I don't believe I'll be able to return."

Dumbledore placed his quill on his desk. Leaning back in his chair lacing his hands over his beard. He looked into Snape's eyes.

The dark haired man always appeared ill. Knowingly, Albus knew Snape was being pushed to his limits probably far more than he had in his younger years. Driven by the guilt for Lily; the strong emotion Albus regrettably used to his best advantage when manipulating Severus.

"Regarding the potion order, I will ask Horace to oversee the orders for Poppy and St. Mungo's."

Dumbledore observed and ignored Snape roll his eyes at the mention of asking Horace for assistance.

"But Severus, I'm afraid you will just have to fit Tom's order in around your teaching, we have discussed your responsibilities before in this instance."

Snape nodded. There was no other way but to make the dark order himself. No one else could be trusted with the knowledge Snape was brewing potions for Death Eaters. Nor allow a substitute to teach Dark Arts for fear word would travel to the Dark Lord. The evil twisted master was already overly suspicious of Snape and Dumbledore's relationship. If the Dark Lord learnt Dumbledore was allowing Snape any special treatments there would undoubtedly be another private terragation.

"Regarding Harry's lessons..."

Snape clenched his jaw at Dumbledore's words.

"Tell Tom, I'm simply sharing my memories with the boy."

"**What?!**" Snape bellowed.

Snape stood quickly using the back of his chair to support the shattered nerves in his legs.

"Severus, stop overreacting."

Snape breathed deeply. The chair started shaking from being held under his trembling body.

"Albus, if Potter knows-"

"Severus, I promise Harry does not know. Your secret is yours to reveal when you decide the time is right."

Snape narrowed his eyes at Dumbledore. If only his damn secret with Granger would keep until he thought the time was right.

"I'll take your word Albus," Snape released the chair from his tight grip and turned to walk for the door.

* * *

Granger wasn't standing in line.

Snape scanned the students, hoping the girl's nerves had grown since this morning hopefully causing her to skip his class.

_Granger._

The girl's face nearly shocked Snape as he looked down directly to meet her looking up stood first in line. Granger's determined wide eyes locked with his for the first time in weeks. Her jaw was set as she waited to enter his class.

"Enter."

Snape stood back as the students entered. Once the last child passed, Snape closed his eyes. His body locked in this painful suit of flesh and bone. In hours he would experience the final tremor before his own bespoke medication would truly kick in.

Draco and Granger took their usual seats waiting with the rest of the class in silence for Snape to start.

The two hour lesson passed quickly with practical non-verbals.

Pairs of duelling students continued distracted, not noticing their professor at times catch his breath or close he eyes.

_Apart from Granger. _

The girl relentlessly cast non verbal hexes in Longbottom's direction. The halfwit boy was becoming unrecognisable with large boils and warts sprouting on every inch of his skin.

With magical skill successfully casting her silent hexes, Granger always met Snape's eyes whenever he decided to glance her way.

Snape was desperate to be alone for at least the next two hours to endure the final tremor. He couldn't stand and take the girl's rant in sheer crippling pain.

Snape thought to order Draco to stay behind after class but the boy would most likely disregard and ignore his request. Snape couldn't risk a public argument with Draco in front of the entire class.

Snape moved to the back of the class after ordering the student to pack away and stand behind their desks.

After the castle bell rang the students waited for Snape's words allowing them to leave.

Couple of minutes passed. Students started to mutter to each other why they hadn't been dismissed.

Seamus dared to look over his shoulder to find the surprise that their professor had already left.

Hermione reluctantly followed her classmates out of the classroom without the chance to speak her practised speech. The parchment with her list was now in her pocket ready to whip out the next time she caught Snape. Next time she would demand to talk, not caring of the time or place.

* * *

"Bye Harry," both Ron and Hermione called after Harry left their common room for his private lesson with Dumbledore.

"Want to play a game of chess?" Ron then asked.

"I haven't time. Sorry. I need to meet Marcus in twenty minutes for our patrol," Hermione answered.

"Oh yeah I forgot," Ron mumbled.

They sat in awkward silence waiting until Hermione stood up to leave.

"Bye Ron."

"Bye."

* * *

"Do you want to make a bet?" Marcus asked Hermione.

They were sat in the Great Hall waiting for Filch to escort them to their dorms. Normally the caretaker was always on time but this evening he was close to being ten minutes late.

"I don't gamble but if I did it would be Gryffindor of course," Hermione replied.

"Yeah me too. Hufflepuff didn't do great last year. And Ginny Weasley, she's really quick on a broom."

Hermione smiled. Ginny and Ron were playing their first match this Saturday and hopefully fingers crossed they were going to do brilliantly.

The Great Hall doors opened.

Like a switch Hermione's mind went from thinking of her friends to the consuming feeling of angered adrenaline pump through her veins due to the sight of Professor Snape entering the hall.

"Great," Marcus muttered sarcastically. He stood from his seat and made his way to their professor.

Snape nodded at the Head Prefect after signing for the two prefects. Snape returned to hold the door open for the students who were now both making their way towards him.

The past two and half hours of Snape's evening involved him lying naked on the cold floor in his quarters. His wrists and ankles were tied tightly with leather belts, along with a plank of wood for his teeth to bite down. Snape cleared his already minimalist room to allow his body space to move with the jerks of the final fit. By the time the spasms had finished he only had time to magically free himself, heal bruises and cuts before taking a short shower ready to find Argus. Snape had a plan to find Granger, then once alone he would present the girl the chance to talk.

Telling the wary caretaker that he needn't bother with the final prefect escort only made Argus more suspicious of Snape. Fortunately Snape's higher rank as professor forced Argus to comply.

Snape lead the students through the corridor. He overheard the boy whisper to Granger about the incorrect route taking Ravenclaw Tower first. Quietly exclaiming they were passing the Gryffindor portrait.

The girl had been brave enough to come to Snape this morning and dare wait for him after class. If Snape avoided her once more, he estimated it would not be long before her restrain would snap. Better to control the girl from the start than let her become more of a hindrance later.

Snape paused at the corridor crossover, one leading down to Ravenclaw Tower. Snape did not to speak for Marcus to understand this was his cue to leave.

Hermione returned Marcus's smile with a much weaker one as he walked away. She was ready to follow Snape. _Ready to talk._

Snape walked slower for the girl to keep up. With her only one step behind; Snape could feel her argument radiate from her.

They reached his classroom door in silence.

Snape opened it holding it open for Granger to enter.

The candles already lit welcomed Hermione. She turned around to watch Snape lower the latch and silently perform security charms keeping their soon discussion; private and unheard.

Snape turned slowly to meet Granger standing before him.

"You wished to talk."

"Yes after class." Hermione told him directly.

"I was otherwise engaged."

"With Tonks?"

"No."

Hermione crossed her arms. She didn't care if Tonks was the reason her professor avoided her earlier when he said he would originally meet.

_He was here now. _

"I have written an agenda."

"Of course," Snape spoke walking past the girl to sit at his desk.

Hermione quickly turned to keep him in sight. She rushed forward, fumbling for the list from inside her prefect robe.

Snape raised an eyebrow. He thought Granger would be shouting, screaming at him by now. Not formally about to read from a structured list.

"I want an apology," Hermione read the first line clearly then met his eyes.

Snape showed no signs that he was secretly hesitating to answer. He pulled his teaching robe tightly over his chest, already uncomfortable with the girl's first point.

"Miss Granger, I admit I made a mistake. However, I will not apologise for something I did not plan to do. My action of immediately halting the offence stands in my favour that it was truly a mistake of identities."

Hermione quickly looked down at her list then back up to his eyes.

"So you're not going to say sorry?"

"No."

With his answer Hermione screwed up the parchment and threw it in his direction. "**But you have too!**" She screamed at him.

Snape reached to collect the crumpled list. He straightened it out on his desk and began reading the girl's familiar script.

"**You raped me! Even if you didn't realise at first you still made a mistake that's ruining my life. At the very least I deserve an apology!**"

Snape held up his hand to quieten her rant. He was nearing the end of her list.

"Miss Granger, answer for point four and five. I am not to blame for Miss Bell's unfortunate accident. Nor were you the intended victim. I suggest you stop creating little lies that are obviously causing you to overreact."

Snape looked up to find Granger standing right in front of his desk. Her hair had fallen from the grips both side and her robe hung from one shoulder. In just a couple of minutes the girl went from coming across collected to crumbling before him but still the fire was dancing in her eyes.

"As I refer to point two of your agenda; I do not intend to resort to kidnapping, poisoning or murdering you -"

"But you said-"

"I may have spoken rather rashly during the evening of the Welcome Feast. Merely ensuring you kept your silence over my mistake. Since we have now had time to think over what has happened. I have calculated another outcome if you do wish the need to share our secret."

"Tell me."

Snape folded her list neatly and pushed it to the edge of his desk.

"Take a seat," he offered.

Hermione dragged the nearest student chair to his desk. She collected her list and sat stiffly waiting for him to continue.

"As we both deal with what has happened there maybe times when we wish to talk to someone else. I understand you may have personal questions with what occurred, mentally and physically, subjects unprofessional for you and I to discuss. This would prove the need for us to include an outsider. Someone we both trust. And at times when we find ourselves struggling, this person will listen and advise how to handle our delicate emotions. Then when the time is convenient and under your wish; I will confess my crime. Yes, in due course Miss Granger, I promise you I will stand before a court and account for the abuse I have unknowingly caused. Until then we both need to ensure my role in the Order is secure."

Once he stopped speaking Hermione looked down to her hands in her lap.

_At least he plans to confess even if I'm still not sure I ever want anyone to know. _

"Who do you plan to tell?" She asked looking back to his black eyes.

"My first thought was Albus but the Headmaster has many other commitments. My second and only choice is now..."

Snape pulled at his collar.

"Nymphadora," he continued.

"**No!**"

"Miss Granger?"

"No. You are not telling her. I'm not discussing my problems with your girlfriend!"

"She is not my -"

"Shut up! I don't care. Why can't I tell Ginny?"

"It needs to be a trusted member of the Order."

"Mrs Weasley then?"

"Certainly not! Do you think Mrs Weasley would allow me to live for one second after she learns what I have done?!"

"Good. You deserve it."

"Miss Granger!" Snape slapped his desk hard. The girl jumped snapping her mouth shut.

Hermione watched her professor lean back in his chair. Her professor's formal manner was forgotten as he rested his head over the edge of his chair closing his eyes.

"There was another alternative," Snape slowly spoke through deep breaths.

"Yes?" Hermione asked on the edge of her seat.

Snape suddenly sat up straight, wishing his words back from the eagerness in Granger's voice.

"Miss Granger. If you continue to act in this erratic behaviour I will have no choice but to ask Nymphadora to talk to you."

"Answer me. What is the other alternative?" Hermione asked ignoring his threat.

Snape narrowed his eyes at hers.

All Hermione could see was his dark eyes until she blinked when his deep voice answered.

"Memory loss."

_Silence._

"You plan to Obliviate me?"

"I did." Snape answered thinking back to standing outside the girl's bedroom door at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Fighting with himself not to enter and oblivate the girl's mind right then and there.

"Why haven't you?" Hermione asked.

"It would have been wrong."

"But you would have gotten away with it?"

"That is not a concern."

"What is then?"

"You, Miss Granger. You and your limits."

Hermione looked away.

"What if I want you to do it?"

Snape curled his lip at her question.

Hermione stood up. Her temper had risen from his blasé reaction.

"**Don't look at me like that!**" She yelled when Snape soon smirked at her.

"_Why, why_. I never the thought the day would come when Miss Know-it-all-Granger would wish _not_ to know something," Snape slowly stood from his chair and stalked round to stand closely, intimidatingly before her.

"Imagine Miss Granger, that tasteful night we shared vanishing from your alert mind. You would be once again able to continue your perfect little life with no more dark shadow tainting your character. Finish your studies, qualify, marry and have the chance to re-produce some know-it-all brats. Perfect future or some might say the easy way out?"

Hermione shrugged from Snape's large hands hover above both her shoulders. Before she could take a step back her neck was gripped by Snape's hand pulling her head closer to his.

Snape lowered himself to talk closely into Granger's ear, their cheeks touching through their mingled hair.

"Miss Granger. I'm afraid it would not be that simple. Your mind will never forget. The sullied memory of us has bruised your self conscious. You would be left confused, wondering why your body, parts of your mind react strangely when someone even mentions my name. You will endure endless nightmares; trying to make your prospective memory remember. Every morning for the rest of your life you will wake utterly confused. Imagine Miss Granger, trying to answer a question you have no clue to the question for the rest of your life."

Snape released his grip from around the back of her neck.

He returned to his seat while Granger just stood in the same position. Her head lowered, hiding behind messy fallen curls.

"Miss Granger. Inform me whenever you wish to talk to Nymphadora and I will make the appropriate arrangements. Until then I employ you to continue keeping your silence."

Still living the haunted image of her future self waking up, middle aged confused and distressed. Hermione slowly looked up to her professor, now sat at his desk.

"Sir." Hermione spoke then took her leave.

Maybe after all these weeks coping she could still carry on. And if not there was now the threat of talking to Tonks about an incident she thought she would much sooner forget.

**Author:** _I think Hermione can do better than that! Round two of this argument continues next chapter._

_Please review!_


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